None of Self, All of Thee

In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader by C.S. Lewis, one of the antagonists was a churlish boy named Eustace.  He was cynical, spoiled, and a thankless snob.  After finding himself with his cousins in Narnia aboard the Dawn Treader, Eustace was introduced to a world of adventure, talking animals, and Aslan.  When they came to a certain island, Eustace left the others and slipped an enchanted bracelet onto his arm.  While he slept, he magically turned into a great dragon.  The novelty of being a hulking beast was short-lived.  He felt very sorry for himself:  he was unable to communicate and the bracelet bit painfully deep into his foreleg.  As a beast, however, Eustace began to change.  He became an asset and friend rather than a self-absorbed loner.

The final turning point for Eustace is when he was met by the great lion, Aslan.  The lion led dragon-Eustace to an inviting bubbling pool and told him before he could enter he must first undress.  So Eustace dug a claw into his hide and stepped out of his skin painlessly, only to see a fresh skin in its place.  After three failed attempts, Aslan told Eustace that only he could undress him.  Eustace was desperate for a change from being a dragon.  He lay still and Aslan pierced him to his very heart, painfully tearing away the dragon flesh.  Aslan placed Eustace in the pool and he was changed back to being a human.  But Eustace was no longer the same Eustace:  he was a new boy, born again.

This story is an allegory concerning the fact that no man can change his own heart.  Eustace was filled with wickedness, and no effort of his own - even repeated, sincere attempts - was enough to change him from being a dragon to a boy.  The change had to come from outside Eustace.  The only one who has the power to transform a man is the one who raised Himself from the dead:  Jesus Christ.  The point God keeps hammering home to my heart is complete surrender to Him.  Eustace could not have only have his legs or arms cleaned of dragon flesh:  it all had to come off.  When we first make a commitment to follow Jesus Christ, we are hardly aware of all the areas God desires to change within us.  God desires our first and best, seeing this is His just due.  He wants our spiritual appetites, dreams, desires, and future to be completely placed in His hands.  While Satan and the world are only too happy to control and oppress us, God waits for us to voluntarily give ourselves to Him.  Too often we are like Eustace at the beginning, thinking that we can change ourselves with the spiritual power and authority Jesus grants by grace.  No, God must change us.  He will only do it when we are desperate to be done with the dragon.

The danger of the deception of partial commitment to God is revealed in the lives of Ananias and Sapphira.  Changed hearts in the early church was evidenced by transformed lives.  People generously gave all they had in the service of God for His use and glory.  Ananias and Sapphira, like other people, sold a possession and brought the proceeds to the apostles.  However, under the pretense of giving all, they had agreed to secretly keep back a portion of the sale.  They lied to the Holy Spirit and therefore had lied to God.  Their deceit and hypocrisy cost them their lives, for they were struck dead by God.  Their sin of holding back proved costly.  What was a secret before men was laid bare before God.

Should God always act in this fashion, I confess I would have been dead many years ago.  How many times did I say "I surrender all!" when I had no intention to take steps to do so!  Perhaps He spared my life so I could die to self for His glory every day until He takes me home.  I am grateful for God's patience and faithfulness to die for me when I was a sinner and enemy, and thank Him not destroying me even after I sinned against His grace by continuing to live for self.  In William MacDonald's book My Heart, My Life, My All, a poem by Theodore Monod on page 154 strikes at the heart of the matter:

Oh, the bitter shame and sorrow

That a time could ever be,

When I let the Saviour's pity

Plead in vain, and proudly answered,

All of self, and none of Thee.

Yet He found me; I beheld Him

bleeding on the cursed tree;

Heard Him pray, Forgive them, Father,

And my wistful heart said faintly,

Some of self, and some of Thee.

Day by day His tender mercy,

Healing helping, full and free,

Sweet and strong and ah! so patient,

Brought me lower while I whispered,

Less of self, and more of Thee.

Higher than the highest heavens,

Deeper than the deepest sea,

Lord, Thy love at last hat conquered:

Grant me now my soul's petition,

None of self, and all of Thee.

The sooner we are fed up with ourselves and the passing pursuits of this world the better.  It is time to submit all we are and all we have to the God who has purchased us with His own blood.  Forgive me Father for all the times I have only offered some when I needed to give all.  No price is too great to pay.  Strip me of self!  None of self, and all of Thee.