It is encouraging to know that while God does not need us, He chooses to call us and use us as His servants as spouses, parents, neighbours and friends. The calling to be God's ministers in our own families ought not to neglected because we are a minister of a church. I like what Sanders wrote in his book Spiritual Leadership: "If a man has not succeeded in exercising a benevolent and happy discipline in his own family, is there reason to expect that he will do better with the family of God?...The clear implication is that, while caring for the interests of the church or other spiritual activity, the leader will not neglect the economy of God, the discharge of one God-given duty or responsibility will never involve the neglect of another. There is time for the full discharge of every legitimate duty." (Sanders, J. Oswald. Spiritual Leadership. Marshall Pickering, 1986. page 35)
Two observations I make from the quote of Sanders is the joyful manner in the discharge of familial duty, one where benevolence and happiness adorns our lives rather than fear or harshness. Strict discipline does not rule out a fun and happy household when God's love is present. There is a time for severity and gravity, but it ought to be the exception rather than the rule. The second point is, God has given everyone time for the "full discharge of every legitimate duty." If we find ourselves without time to do what must be done, then it suggests not everything that fills our time is legitimately from God. We can be quite skilled at loading ourselves with duties and tasks based on the expectations or demands of others--or our own ambitious pursuits and desires--and begin to neglect what is most important. Work or ministry demands can begin to encroach dangerously upon our calling as a spouse or parent, and by God's wisdom we can learn how to navigate this in a godly and healthy manner.
Often failure must be experienced before we learn to succeed. The one who find success easily does not learn what the one who struggles and persists can. The economy of God is wonderful because He can use years of experience leading sheep in a wilderness to leading a nation. Jesus chose men disciplined by manual labour and business to be part of church leadership. Jesus touched and healed people who suffered illnesses, conditions and demon possession for years, and the vivid change Jesus brought to their lives was not only observed by others but felt by each individual. God has given us all a unique personality and perspective, and He helps us learn how to prioritise our lives to acknowledge His rule, to seek Him, and to walk in His truth day by day. When loving God and others becomes our priority, our lives are brought into a healthy balance. Our duty never need crowd out the fun and joy it is to know God and to be known by Him.
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