Running Our Course

Recently I read a comment from a high-profile celebrity going through divorce that continues to come to mind.  In her words, the relationship had simply "run its course."  While it is true marriages do not always last a lifetime, her statement betrays a view of marriage that falls woefully short of God's design for it.  Those who justify divorce for marriages that have "run their course" are often more likely to default to this option in future marriage(s).  Traditional wedding vows of a bride and groom used to include, "Till death do us part" and this is the worthy course of marriage--a commitment for a lifetime.

From a biblical point of view, marriage is intended to be a covenant between one man and one woman before God who ordained this special relationship.  It is more than the promise of love, fidelity and monogamy, for it is a spiritual union where God joins a man and woman together and makes them one flesh.  When we love one another as Jesus loves us, a married couple is divinely helped in bearing one another's burdens, forgiving each other and working through conflicts.  Divorce was never part of God's original design for marriage, but Jesus said it was made legally permissible due to the hardness of people's hearts (Matthew 19:8).  A married couple may say their marriage has "run its course" yet the Bible shows God's intended course for their relationship to endure their entire lives.

Those who go into marriage believing marriage could run its course in 7 months, 12 or 28 years should not be surprised when it does not last half that long.  I suspect many people whose marriages have ended in divorce had every intention--from before they uttered their vows to years into marriage--to do everything in their power to make it last.  And perhaps they did.  The point I feel compelled to make is to affirm the covenant of marriage ought to be approached as a lifelong commitment before God and one another, and when both partners have a relationship with Jesus Christ He helps us to do what willpower, hard work, vows and the Law of Moses could never do:  to continue in marriage until death do you part.  Even if you are a Christian and your partner is not, the love of Jesus in and through you will make a huge positive difference in your marriage and family.

What Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 4:7-8 inspires God-fearing people to live well and this includes a marriage relationship:  "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: ⁸ henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing."  Winning at marriage does not come from fighting with your spouse but surrender before the LORD whilst looking to Jesus for wisdom, strength and humility.  God who enabled Paul to prevail over great difficulties during his life and ministry helps everyone who trusts and obeys Him.  We will be richly rewarded by God, not for having the longest marriage, but for faith and obedience to God by His grace.