The Weaker Vessel

"Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered."

1 Peter 3:7

Breakdowns in communication occur when we do not listen carefully to what someone says.  How far a misunderstanding can blow things out of proportion!  I find when we take the time to actually listen to what someone else is saying without jumping to conclusions and mentally formulating a rebuttal halfway through a sentence, much confusion could be avoided.  Most of the people offended by the Bible do not actually know the Bible, but have picked up fragments twisted out of context.  They have been hurt or disillusioned by people who claimed to be Christians.  A wall is put up against the Bible or any "fundamentalist," while bitterness and hatred festers under the surface.  God is resented and rejected because of the unloving conduct of people who supposedly have been His representatives on earth.  It is a sad truth that much evil has been justified in the name of God.  But flaws in people does not mean the Bible is flawed.  The objective truth of the scripture is often repugnant to those unable to spiritually discern it.

I remember back to my Sunday School days and the resentment many of the girls carried in being called "the weaker vessel."  Arguments ensued of who could run faster, win at arm wrestling, or fight better in war.  Back and forth the barbs went, touching on everything from giving birth to mental fortitude.  But these heated discussions only served to create division when God intended to promote unity.  Comparison and judgments according to sight always divide.  Unfortunately, the whole discussion was predicated upon a misunderstanding of the text.  Peter never says a woman or the wife IS the weaker vessel.  Read the passage again.  Peter says that a husband ought to honour his wife "as to the weaker vessel."  The use of "as" reveals Peter is using a metaphor to make a point.  For instance, the way that a person handles a stainless steel water bottle and delicate stemware is very different.  At the soccer ground, the players drink out of their water bottles and throw them carelessly to the ground.  The worst thing that can happen to that bottle is a scratch or dent.  But no one in their right mind would ever take a drink out of fine crystal and toss it to the ground.  Peter is saying that husbands should honour their wives with this gentle distinction.

Fine crystal is valuable.  It is also breakable and should be treated with care.  A person who cares about their crystal does not gather all the stemware off the table in their arms and dump it clumsily in the sink to be washed.  Peter exhorts men to be gentle and careful with their wives.  "Woman" is not synonymous for "weak."  God has made men and women distinct and are both equally loved and valued by God.  Women should not use their sex as an excuse to gain advantage or to avoid responsibility, nor should men use their physical or emotional constitution to domineer their wives. Paul writes in Ephesians 5:18-21, "And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, ¹⁹ speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, ²⁰ giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, ²¹ submitting to one another in the fear of God."  Our motivation for doing good and loving one another is not because we perceive someone else as weaker, but in obedience for the glory and honour of God.  As we humble ourselves, preferring other people over self, we follow Christ's example.

Marriages fail when husbands and wives fail to think, speak, and act in a biblical manner.  Marriage is a relationship designed by God between one man and one woman.  Marriage is the joining of an imperfect man and an imperfect woman - both with baggage, character flaws, weaknesses, strengths, and blind spots.  God puts a love in the hearts of His people that transcends the physical realm.  When we walk in Christ's love, we treat others as we would be treated.  We love even as Christ has loved us.  Instead of keeping record of wrongs or resenting differences, may all heed the words of Proverbs 10:12:  "Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins."  Love is a powerful thing, to cover all sins.  No matter how strong or weak you feel, this is a love you need.  It is in weakness God's strength is perfectly revealed.  2 Corinthians 12:9-10 God revealed to Paul, "And He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  This is a love only known through knowing Jesus Christ as LORD and Saviour.  I thank God for His love and grace!

When I am weak, I am strong by God's grace.  When my strength ends, that is when God is free to supply my lack.  Let us admit our weakness so we might walk in God's strength to love as we ought!