Veneer Maintenance

A veneer is a decorative coating to cover something inferior from sight.  My two front teeth, for instance, are covered with veneer crowns.  Due to a skateboard mishap in my youth, my teeth were badly chipped.  Not only was it a bad look, but the sensitive roots were exposed and very painful!  After my temporary caps became yellowed with age, my folks and I pooled the necessary funds to replace them with veneers.  Another common use of veneer is wood veneer which gives glued particle board the appearance of quality hardwood.  A discerning eye can usually pick out wood veneer in seconds, but it is a cheaper alternative to solid wood.

Our furniture or teeth is not the extent of our use of veneer, of course.  People do not need to be on stage to wear masks or costumes which hide true feelings.  There can be cultures developed in school, the workplace, families, or even in church that make us feel pressure to keep up the appearance of perpetually being happy and doing well.  I think all who have been courageous enough to share struggles and hurts have been criticised or eyed with suspicion by some for having honestly opened their hearts.  As I still decompress from my experience at camp this last week, I am convinced that it is never wrong to be real.  We ought to be mindful of proper decorum and tact, but too often in Christian circles we can pass off a veneer for the real thing.  If we believe Christians are without troubles or struggles, we are naive and foolish.  Just because someone hasn't bared their soul to you, doesn't mean they are without pain or are doing fine.

An example of this is seen in Israel's history.  Samaria was under siege by the Syrians, and the people were dying of starvation.  Things became so bad that parents were eating their babies to survive.  When King Jehoram heard this news firsthand, he was beside himself with grief and anger.  2 Kings 6:30 reads, "Now it happened, when the king heard the words of the woman, that he tore his clothes; and as he passed by on the wall, the people looked, and there underneath he had sackcloth on his body."  Jehoram's royal robes hid the truth:  he was secretly in mourning for their desperate situation.  The king put on a front for his people and wore his robes over the sackcloth.  Some agree with this approach.  "He's the king!  He has to be strong for the people!  If he was seen mourning, the people would despair!"  Not so fast.  King Hezekiah was not afraid to cover himself with sackcloth and even went into the house of the LORD (2 Kings 19:1)!  God looked favorably upon the repentant king and people of Nineveh and relented from the disaster he would bring upon them.  Kings, parents, and Christians all face struggles and difficulties.  Do we do ourselves or others a favour by concealing our true feelings behind a veneer we carefully maintain to save face?

When Jesus was facing the cross and in agony of spirit, He shared those moments with a chosen few.  He did not sweat great drops of blood before the masses.  Yet He did not take pains to hide His tears from people.  He wept openly over the grave of Lazarus.  People recognised the genuine love of Christ in that moment:  "See how He loved him!"  Jesus was a conqueror and overcomer, but was not above feeling pain and heartache.  The joy of the LORD was His strength, yet the prospect of being separated by God for the sins of the world placed upon Him brought Him low.  Being a Christian does not mean we don veneer smiles and conceal our grief from others.  Let us speak the truth in love, not to seek sympathy or hide our struggles under a proud facade.  When we lower our defenses in faith and become transparent for the glory of God, hidden hurts will be brought to light and healed.  James 5:16 says, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."

A true friend is someone to whom you can say anything and it will not destroy the relationship.  If you must maintain a veneer to keep your friends friendly, these may not be friends at all.  Genuine friendships are made even stronger with conflict.  Jesus has called His followers friends.  We are to be casting our cares upon Him, for He cares for us.  If in this life you have true friends, you are most blessed.  Be such a friend to others, even as Christ is to you!