Conflict Creates Opportunity

Conflict is a part of life and especially in our closest relationships.  Instead of seeing conflict as a bad thing to avoid at all costs. Myron Rush wrote this:  "One of the key ingredients to maintaining a cooperative relationship is the attitude that conflict is healthy and not something to be avoided.  Conflict creates an opportunity for us to know each other better and to serve each other more." (Rush, Myron, and Stanley C. Baldwin. Richer Relationships: Leader's Guide. Victor Books, 1983. page 121)  One of the reasons why we might want to avoid facing conflict head on is to avoid offending people we love and care about.  However, if we truly do love others and care for their needs, dealing with conflict directly in a loving manner demonstrates that fact.  My avoidance of conflict can be self-centered rather than loving others at all.

Jesus did not shy away from conflict when He spoke the truth in love.  He did not pander to His listeners by telling them what they wanted or expected to hear.  Even the disciples of Jesus did not understand or agree with what He said, like when Peter responded to Jesus with, "Not so, LORD!"  When Jesus conversed with the self-righteous Pharisees He exposed their hypocrisy--not to humiliate or embarrass them or make Himself look good--but to lovingly rebuke them so they might consider their sinful ways, repent and be forgiven.  As it was they blindly were headed to destruction and compelled others to follow them.  The conflict arose when they did not believe the claims of Jesus He was the Christ and were envious of His attraction to the people they desperately wanted to influence themselves.  Jesus came to save them from sin and death, yet they were determined to kill Him.  Conflict between them was inevitable.

After Jesus identified the Pharisees as those who drew near to God with their lips, whose hearts were far from God and thus worshipped Him in vain, they were incensed.  Matthew 15:12-14 states, "Then His disciples came and said to Him, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?" ¹³ But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. ¹⁴ Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch."  It is likely the disciples came to Jesus to inform Him of the Pharisee's offence because He did not give any impression it concerned Him.  The Pharisees avoided confronting Jesus publicly out of fear of losing face before the people.  Jesus, being God in the flesh, knew perfectly why the Pharisees were angry and offended over His remarks.  In His response to Peter Jesus was not apologetic or sorry, having spoken the truth of God's word with a heart of love and sincere care for others.

The reason for the offence of the Pharisees was because they were not planted by His Father, even as the tares were sown among the good seed by an enemy in the parable.  They were not to be preoccupied with trying to make peace with people with whom their could be no peace or unity, for they were of a different kind.  The Pharisee's offence of Jesus was not to be the concern of His disciples, for unbelief in Jesus had blinded them.  As blind leaders of the blind they would fall into a ditch shrouded in darkness, for they refused to acknowledge the Light of the World Who shone upon them.  The response of Jesus was not a callous, "Sorry, not sorry!" but pointed out the reason behind their offence and how their vain worship of God would lead to ruin.  Their offence and anger at Jesus made plain the hidden reality of hearts distant from God.

Because Christians are not Jesus, it is easy for us when facing conflict to fall into the snares of pride, selfishness, fear of man and frustration He expertly avoided at every turn.  Nothing Jesus ever said or did was regrettable or should He have apologised for, but there are countless times we should have repented when we justified ourselves.  We have been offensive and rude, not because we spoke the truth, but because we said it in a haughty, mocking manner or to make others look foolish.  We have avoided saying the truth because we knew it would be offensive and did not love others enough to meet their hypocrisy head-on, calling it what it is.  Thus we played the hypocrite despite knowing better!  The love of God and commitment to loving others means we can view conflict as an good opportunity to explore rather than something to selfishly avoid.  Because our eyes have been opened to see Jesus and receive His word, let us follow His leading to deal with conflict directly rather than sweeping it aside.  If others will stumble at Christ or fall into a ditch of offence, let it not be due to our lack of love or our sin.