Like the churning sea is never at rest, our hearts can be troubled under a calm exterior. We may not even realise the depths of our pains until we are brought to a breaking point brought on by stress, grief, rejection, physical discomfort or a myriad of other things. The constant cares of this life can lull us into a sort of stupor that pain intensely felt--like the paddles of a defibrillator pressed to our chest--snaps us back to the reality we need God more than anything because He is truly our life. In our happy moments when all seemed right in the world we imagined we were drawing near to God, but in reality we only basked in His goodness or how we felt at the time. Those soul-crushing moments we experience can reveal this reality to us, how we have neglected to seek the LORD with our whole hearts and trust Him.
At times I have felt so low I have desired to be done with living because I caught a glimpse of my own wretchedness and inability to do a thing to help myself or others. For a brief moment due to a selfish, despondent perspective, it is likely all of us have also been presented a hideous world without God, a life where He does not exist or is stripped of power. It is a hopeless existence where happiness, prosperity and fruitfulness depends wholly upon our efforts, and we are acutely aware of our abysmal track record of complete failure and incompetence. In the depths of feelings of desolation and hopelessness God's word brings God back into focus again and quickens us to seek Him desperately for restoration. Our painful feelings are redeemed as we draw near to God with renewed faith, revived by the shock of our foolish, beastly selfishness and self-pity.
Asaph, a worship leader in the temple in Jerusalem, also had this experience personally. In Psalm 73 Asaph's focus was drawn to consider those who did not seek or know God and how they seemed to prosper. He wondered if his allegiance to God and sacrifices to serve Him were worth it when it seemed to pay no immediate dividends. He felt "plagued all day long" and "chastened every morning" (verse 14). Asaph came to realise God is infinitely more trustworthy than his feelings, and repented of his doubts and unbelief brought on by troubles. He declared in Psalm 73:22-24, "I
was so foolish and ignorant; I was like a
beast before You. 23 Nevertheless I am continually with You; You hold me by my right hand. 24 You will guide me
with Your counsel, and afterward receive me to
glory." Isn't this wonderful? Asaph felt alone but he was not alone, for God was with him, guided him by the hand with His counsel and would afterward receive him to glory.
When we feel cast down and depressed by troubling news and circumstances, how good it is to draw near to the LORD in a way we did not in our comfort and prosperity! Being cast down and wallowing in our sorrows as those without the hope of Jesus, the Gospel and a glorious future with our LORD reveals the folly of our selfishness and unbelief. We can feel lost in the dark when the Light of the World Jesus Christ stands ready to save and deliver. What Asaph said next is very instructive in Psalm 73:25-26: "Whom
have I in heaven but You? And there is none
upon earth that I desire besides You. 26 My flesh and my
heart fail; but God is the strength of my
heart and my portion forever." Should our desires be fixed on what is not we ignore the God who was, is and will ever be. Our pains are often the realisation what we love and desire is not God alone and an indication of our failure to seek Him.
Instead of feeling everything is against us in troubles, let us remember God is for us, is with us, and will guide us. The Strength of my heart and my Portion forever will afterward receive me to glory, and how blessed we are to seek His face and have fellowship with Him today. Christian, we have a God who is sovereign over the heavens, the earth and our hearts. The God of heaven and earth loves us without fail, and praise Him for His faithfulness. :)