Marching Forth!

" Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord ." Colossians 3:20 God's commands for children to obey they parents in all things implies parents first are responsible to give clear guidance for their children to heed.  If parents are negligent to establish boundaries and take action when children delay or disobey, this blurs the line which should remain clear.  Delayed obedience is disobedience, and parents ought to correct such transgression immediately with disciplinary action.  Solomon wisely observed the knock-on effect of delayed discipline in  Ecclesiastes 8:11 :  " Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil ."  Parents ought to set a boundary, explain the consequence for crossing that boundary, and then are responsible before God to take appropriate action to discipline their children when they cross the set boundary,...

Early in my insulator apprenticeship we were urged to make a positive impression by being on time, working hard and having a good attitude because the reputation made as an apprentice would stick for the next 10 years!  Apprentices who were late, lazy or arrogant would find it difficult to ditch their sullied reputations that were set in stone even when they worked hard to redeem themselves.  King Solomon wrote a similar thing in  Proverbs 20:11 :  " Even a child is known by his deeds, w hether what he does is pure and right ."  Parents play a larger role than they may think in raising their children in the knowledge of God by their love, faithfulness and consistency in following Christ. This morning I spent some time continuing to dig up stumps and roots that enmeshed themselves in retaining walls.  Once established, trees are not the easiest plants to remove--but it crossed my mind how much easier the removal of the stumps would have been if they had n...

" Correct your son, and he will give you rest; y es, he will give delight to your soul ." Proverbs 29:17 This is one of many proverbs that provide wise instruction for parents in raising their children.  Children need correction, it is true parents at times need correction as well.  Correction is not only being aware of making a mistake or expressing displeasure, but taking action to instruct and guide to do what is right. Marking and correcting papers at school are two different things.  To mark a paper or exam is to point out the faults and provide the final grade.  Correcting requires an additional step to marking errors but providing the correct answer and even an explanation if necessary.  I believe a lot of the frustration parents experience with misbehaving children is marking without correction or disciplinary action.  Complaining or venting about bad behaviour is not discipline, but a disciplined parent will take loving action to correct according ...

Whenever I venture into an Australian Post Office, I have always been curious of the odd assortment of goods sold there.  There are office related goods like notepads and envelopes, but the volume is mostly comprised of colourful cheap toys, a variety of "As Seen on TV" products, CD music compilations and gifts.  I have wondered often who would go to the Post Office to buy such things, and today I had this question answered. A mum and two young daughters were queued in front of me, and the little one aged about six or seven asked her mother to buy her a notepad.  The request was immediately declined.  The little girl went on.  "Pleeeease...it has lines on it...I can practice my writing.  Pleeeease."  Within seconds of observing the behaviour of this little girl I knew beyond doubt she was wise to something her mother may not have realised:  "No" did not mean "No" and was negotiable.  "No" could be expertly overturned with persistence, a...

There are many things parents want for their children because they care about their development and future.  Whilst all people are different and parenting styles are unique, children are raised according to what the parents believe is most important.  For instance, some parents require children to sit at the table during set mealtimes to eat food together.  Parents who are fine to eat dinner separately, with one child on the lounge watching TV and another a device in their bedroom, can be strict about going to bed at a particular hour.  Some parents carefully monitor the diets of their children or their internet browsing, and others make a strong emphasis on education and preparation for life away from the family home.  And in many cases, the cliche rings true that there is more "caught than taught," as kids quickly pick up on structure their parents will adhere to without fail and is not open for debate. For me growing up, going to school was not optional:...

The Bible says God chastens those whom He loves ( Hebrews 12:6 ).  At times in the history of Israel God empowered nations as His implement to move His people to repentance.  The Syrians were a people God utilised for this purpose.  What often happened is those who defeated Israel oppressed them, and were lifted up with pride against the God who had given them victory.  When they saw the Israelites were powerless to defend themselves, they were cruel.  Their brutality was observed by God, and He would later punish them for it. Amos 1:3 reads, " Thus says the LORD : "For three transgressions of Damascus, and for four, I will not turn away its punishment,  b ecause they have threshed Gilead with implements of iron ."  Threshing is the act of separating the husk from the kernel, removing the worthless chaff to expose the edible grain.  Depending on the kind of grain to be threshed, different tools and methods were used.  The aim of thr...

I learned a new word today:  nimby.  It means, "Not in my backyard!"  It reminded me of something I've been thinking of lately.  The messages at Calvary Chapel Sydney lately have compelled me to do some personal examination and inventory.  As a parent or leader, we are to be circumspect in our conduct and that of our children.  There is always the potential that we will be personally offended when kids we are supervising (especially our own!) fall into destructive or sinful behaviour.  We can forget that we too are imperfect, and sin ultimately is not against us but God. It has been revealed to me by God that I tend towards a "nimby" or "Not on my watch!" mentality.  When we make the struggles of others focused on primarily how they affect us, we have ceased to walk in love.  If I grit my teeth in frustration because of the inconvenience of an internet filter installed for the safety of my children, I am walking in selfishness - not love. ...

WARNING!  This post may contain spoilers concerning a jolly man with a beard clothed in red often associated with Christmas. As far back as I can remember, Santa Claus has always been a fictitious character along with the Tooth Fairy, and the Easter Bunny.  For the large majority of my childhood I was raised by Christian parents who valued honesty even when it came to traditions.  I remember even to this day a negative experience I had in kindergarten.  As Christmas drew near, I was discussing with a girl my age about whether Santa Claus was real or not.  The discussion escalated into an argument.  The little girl marched me right into the kitchen where both our mothers were conversing.  "Mommy, is Santa real?"  The eyes of the woman narrowed on me with a fierce look that unnerved me with its intensity.  Her words were even harder to understand.  "Of course, sweetie.  Santa is real."  I wonder if my jaw dropped in amazement a...

From a young age, I remember my dad putting into practice the truth of scripture:  "Ask and ye shall receive."  While some parents are content to ask leading questions of their children, it was clear that if I wanted something I would need to ask for it.  More and more these days I notice people don't actually ask for things:  they will hint or resort to manipulative tactics to achieve their ends.  For instance, let's say you see a child struggling to open the lid of a container.  He grunts and groans, making his frustration known.  His mum notices the struggles of her son and says, "Do you want me to open that for you?"  The child nods and brings it to his mum to open.  This is an unscriptural way to deal with this issue.  If a child wants help, he must be required humble himself to ask for it.  God requires no less of His children.  Before long this can become a deeply entrenched habit the boy or parent won't even recognise w...

I was reminded yesterday how important it is for parents to be ever vigilant concerning what their kids are exposed to.  It is very easy for us to lower our guard.  We might think because of homeschooling, sending kids to a Christian school, or going to church is enough.  Nope!  If you own a TV, a computer connected to the internet, if your kids have mobile phones or Ipods, if your car has windows which allows a child to see out as you drive, if your kids have family, friends, or acquaintances, if you take them to the shops to buy food or clothes, if they read books, magazines, or listen to music, the potential for ungodly influences on your child is a real threat.  The world works tirelessly to indoctrinate our children to accept evil as good. We send our children to a Christian private school.  One of my sons was selected out of his class and he received an invitation to participate in an extra-curricular course geared to inspire bright kids to be autho...

Back in the '90's, the unfortunate term "deadbeat dads" came into vogue to define dads who didn't rise to the subjective expectation of what a dad should be.  Dads who refused to pay child support, denied they even had a child, or shirked their responsibility to raise their children in the eyes of their ex-wives, girlfriends, or the courts, were labeled as such.  Now I read the politically-correct revised term is "deadbeat parent."  Whether it is dad or mum who chooses to neglect the God-given privilege and responsibility to raise their children, the kids are the biggest losers. I have lately been thinking about my responsibility to disciple my own children, striving to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the LORD.  Kids need more than food, water, love, and affirmation from their parents; they need much more than quality time, holidays, recreation, schooling, sport, social interaction, and a bed to sleep in.  Jesus said that man shall not live...

" Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it ."   Proverbs 22:6 Those God has blessed with children have the important responsibility to train our children to serve, honour, and worship God.  We cannot relegate the meaning of training to only include what pertains to this temporal life, like household chores, manners, social behaviour, or instilling a good work ethic.  Deuteronomy 6:6-8 explains that teaching children of God through His Word and modeling worship of God is the primary role of parents, contrary to what many believe today:   " And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes ."  God delivered His Word so we might know...

I think it was pastor Bill Wilson whom I first heard say, " The teacher has not taught until the student has learned ."  This concept can be applied to the training of children by parents as well.  Proverbs 22:6 says, " Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it ."  This is an inspired statement of truth.  Parents can feel content with the fact their child attends church, memorizes scripture and doctrine, has been baptised, or makes a profession of faith.  But this does not mean the child is being trained.  If we would have our children follow the steps of Christ even as we follow Him, parents have a responsibility to train their children. Speaking as a parent, our mistake is often made because we misunderstand what it means to "train."  Many parents (me included!) tend to "tell" our children rather than to "train" them.  When a soldier embarks to "basic training," he is not mere...

I read an interesting article about the lack of team chemistry in sports these days due to modern technology.  This claim has been substantiated by many coaches at the professional level.  It used to be that when the team rode the bus, traveled on planes, or sat around in the dressing rooms, they would be talking with one another.  Camaraderie grew between the players as they ate food, told stories, cracked jokes, made fun of each other, or shared in ridiculous antics.  A good team became better because players were not just teammates but friends.  There was a large overlap between personal life and the playing field. Where there used to be conversations, now there is silence between people.  Everyone has their headphones on or their ear buds in.  A little world is created where the programming, playlist, and activities are all controlled by the user.  It is all about me.  People play mindless games on their mobiles to fill the time, or su...

When I returned to my seat at a recent conference, pamphlets titled "A Revival Promise" written by C.H. Spurgeon were placed upon each chair.  According to the back of the publication, this is a sermon taken from Volume 20 of The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit.  There was a paragraph I though particularly relevant for all those who have children. " I will pour my Spirit upon thy seed, and my blessing upon thine offspring."  Parents, lay hold greedily upon these points of the promise.  I am afraid we do not think enough of the promise which the lord has made to our children.  Grace does not run in the blood; we have never fallen into the gross error of birthright membership, or the supposition that the child of godly parents has a right to Christian ordinances.  We know that religion is a personal matter, and is not of blood nor of birth; we know also that all children are heirs of wrath until the grace of God regenerates them; but still there is some meani...

No matter what our standards are, life will force upon us a barrage of choices.  We will be forced to decide if we will have that fifth cookie, what movie we will watch, whether we should pay extra on the mortgage this month, or if diet Dr. Pepper actually tastes like regular Dr. Pepper.  As parents we not only have to make decisions about our lifestyle, but we must set boundaries for our kids.  Some parents make well-defined boundaries, and others let their children live as they please.  Boundaries to some are no different than a bubble!  Due to hurts they may have experienced as children, many parents work hard to protect their children from every potential worldly influence.  Boundaries are important.  But it is possible to make boundaries so restrictive for the child to be stripped of the decision making process when it comes to morality.  When "obey" or "disobey" are the only decisions to be made, when real choices present themselves many tee...

There are a lot of positive things to say about Sunday School for kids.  For parents, however, there is a hidden danger.  Decades ago it was not uncommon for kids to attend the same service as their parents.  This gave parents an opportunity to explain thoroughly what had been preached and apply it personally to the lives of their children.  Frankly I do not know the exact history of what has brought us to the current system of kids having their own separate classes with activities, crafts, and snack apart from convenience.  As much as children have benefited from having a class geared to their level of understanding, teachers have also grown through the preparation and prayer for children and services.  This is good.  But I believe parents should live as if their kids never went to church at all.  Allow me to explain. Sunday School attendance has the power to subversively deceive parents into thinking their children are being taught the Word o...