Sodium Chloride and the Chemist

When the earth was young, a chemist considered the elements and compounds which comprise all living things.  "I know what I will do," said the man.  "I will bring together Sodium and Chlorine, joining them perfectly.  They will be one:  Sodium Chloride, or NaCl.  This unity of 40% Sodium and 60% Chloride will provide flavouring for food, act as a preservative, and will have a long shelf-life."

The chemist was excited, as the close bonds between the chemicals were a picture of the intimacy he hoped to share someday with his bride.  "I will make a special place on my table for this salt," he said aloud.  He produced a crystal shaker and poured the salt into the valuable vessel.  "As long as you live, Sodium and Chloride, you shall remain together as one.  What God has joined together let not man separate."

Sodium and Chloride were pleased to remain together even as the chemist had joined them.  Had they remained alone, Sodium would have been a metal and Chlorine a gas.  Only when they were united together could they be NaCl, or salt.

A day came when two Sodium molecules walked up to NaCl.  "We've been thinking," Sodium A began.  "We've noticed your special arrangement, being displayed on the table.  We believe we have every right to be salt, just like you."

"I'm afraid that's not up to me," said Sodium Chloride.  "We were placed in this chemical arrangement by the chemist.  He's the one who provided this shaker in which we reside.  It is ordained by him that we remain here until death parts us."

"To hell with the chemist," said Sodium B.  "We do not believe in any such chemist, and if he did exist he must obviously be a bigot and a fool.  We will be salt, and we will get our own salt shaker to prove it."

It was not long before two Chlorine molecules floated up to the salt shaker on the table.  Chlorine A began:  "We've heard that you said Sodium A and Sodium B cannot be salt.  I suppose you would suggest we cannot be salt either."

"Chlorine with Chlorine could never be salt," said NaCl.  "The relationship we share is defined by our chemical properties.  To be genuine salt, the properties of the compound is 60% chlorine and 40% sodium. Two molecules of Chlorine living in a shaker or being displayed on the table does not make you salt."

"We have a problem with that," said Chlorine B, "and we will take this matter to high court."

The prosecution addressed the judge:  "Your honour, it is a grave act of discrimination that this nation will not allow Sodium and Sodium to be salt.  Equally repulsive to my clients is the notion that Chlorine and Chlorine cannot be salt either.  I demand that my clients have the opportunity to live together in a salt shaker exactly like the one provided for NaCl.  I want them to be displayed openly on the table as equals, even as nature intended."

"There is no legal restriction that prevents Sodium and Sodium from residing in a salt-shaker together," said the judge.  "Your problem is not with the laws or people of this nation but with the chemist who abides according to absolute law.  You seem to think that if Chlorine and Chlorine were to live in a salt shaker they should be recognised as salt.  But it does not take a chemist to know that is impossible."  The judge sat back for a moment in thoughtful silence.  "No doubt the day will come when Sodium and Sodium will abide together in a crystal shaker like NaCl, even displayed on the table.  But it will never, ever be salt.  Take it up with the chemist if you want, but his word is unalterable."  Down came the gavel with a crack.  "Case closed."