Forgiving Yourself

"We've forgiven you, so forgive yourself."

lyric excerpt from "Up Against the Ropes" by August Burns Red

The concept of "forgiving self" is a statement commonly accepted without critical thought.  But does the Bible in any way support the idea of a person's need to forgive self?  There is plenty written about how God forgives sins and that we are called to forgive others, but forgiving self?  This self-focus stinks of humanism and suggests God's forgiveness is insufficient.

I don't believe people are malicious with their encouragement to "forgive self," but I see no biblical evidence this exhortation comes from God.  Instead of self-help, God tells us to deny self.  Naturally self is our primary focus and our feelings and desires are central to our existence.  1 John 1:9 says concerning believers, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."  Whether we feel forgiven or not is beside the point.  All sin is primarily against God, and He is the only One who has the power to release us from our guilt.  A man who claims to have this power or authority proudly sits in God's judgment seat.

Think about this in terms of the judicial system.  Say I am guilty of a crime and justice requires a large fine far beyond my ability to pay.  Say a person with financial means heard of my plight and decided to pay the fine in full.  After the exorbitant payment was paid, justice was satisfied.  Since the fine was paid I could legally leave the courtroom a free man.  Wouldn't it be ridiculous for me to hang my head over my guilt and hold out my wrists to be shackled and led away to prison?  "I just can't forgive myself for what I did.  I deserve to rot in prison forever."  The incredulous bailiff would say, "Didn't you hear the judge?  Get out of here.  What's your problem?"  Shouldn't I be thankful to the one who paid for me to be free?  Wouldn't I be overwhelmed with love for such generosity and grace of my saviour?  "Forgiving self" has no bearing on my legal standing before God and any prison in which I remain is imaginary, a paper tiger fashioned by my refusal to receive God's gracious gift.

There is something about penance that appeals to the flesh, that we need to or must afflict ourselves to "pay" for our wrongs.  Again, this is a arbitrary refusal of God's grace.  It is ridiculous to make God's forgiveness depend on my feelings or seek to earn forgiveness only freely received by repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, the One who makes sinners free indeed (John 8:36)  Instead of urging others to forgive themselves, it would be better for people to repent, receive, and rejoice in God's forgiveness which is all of grace.  We have a part to play in the matter to be released from the guilt of sin, but forgiveness of self is not a legitimate part of the process.