No Shame in Sorrow

After hearing of the affliction and reproach Nehemiah's brethren were experiencing in Jerusalem, he was deeply grieved.  He wept, mourned and fasted and he prayed to God on behalf of those who lived in a city with the wall broken down and the gates burned with fire.  Four months after Nehemiah heard the shocking news, king Artaxerxes noticed he was sad in his presence--and this had never happened before.  Nehemiah 2:2-3 says, "Therefore the king said to me, "Why is your face sad, since you are not sick? This is nothing but sorrow of heart." So I became dreadfully afraid, ³ and said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not be sad, when the city, the place of my fathers' tombs, lies waste, and its gates are burned with fire?"

I am no expert on proper etiquette of cupbearers in the presence of a Persian king, but Nehemiah understood very well the importance of showing upmost respect and honour to his king.  To appear before the Persian king in any context was a sober duty, for one misstep could mean your job, freedom or even cost your life.  It was important for Nehemiah to remember his station and the total authority of his king, and one did not speak unless being directly addressed.  When the king asked Nehemiah about being sorrowful in his presence, Nehemiah was afraid.  As a cupbearer, the king needed to trust him completely and remain confident of his loyalty.  Would seeing Nehemiah sad arouse suspicion of foul play?  Nehemiah respectfully and wisely explained the cause of his sadness, that Jerusalem lay waste.

It struck me today that as Artaxerxes noticed Nehemiah was sad, there were likely kings who frowned upon their servants being sorrowful in their presence as an unpardonable sin.  Artaxerxes was favourable towards Nehemiah, and gave him leave and all that was needed to commence on rebuilding the walls and gates.  What is awesome about the Most High God, the KING OF KINGS, is it does not anger or annoy Him when we are sorrowful and seek Him.  We can weep in His presence and He does not have us put outside until we pull ourselves together; He does not take offence when we are troubled and upset.  Psalm 56:8-9 (NLT) says, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. ⁹ My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!"  God keeps a better reckoning of our pains than we do, for who among us can know the tears we have shed?  God does not cast us off because we are unhappy, for He can use our unhappiness to draw us to Him and seek the help and salvation only He can supply.

We can be ashamed of our sorrow and tears and apologise for them in front of friends, yet there is no shame to shed tears in the presence of our LORD.  He draws near to us when we are sorrowful like Jesus did to Mary Magdalene who wept outside the empty tomb.  Mary had just finished tearfully telling angels she did not know where the Lord Jesus had been taken and John 20:14 says: "Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus."  Isn't that wonderful, how Jesus was right beside Mary?  Jesus asked why she was weeping and whom she was seeking--and this dear woman, sight bleary with tears, found the one she hoped most to see miraculously alive and at hand.  Rather than being put off by our sadness, our LORD draws near to hear and help as Psalm 34:18 says:  "The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."