Conflict Creates Opportunity

Conflict is a part of life and especially in our closest relationships.  Instead of seeing conflict as a bad thing to avoid at all costs. Myron Rush wrote this:  "One of the key ingredients to maintaining a cooperative relationship is the attitude that conflict is healthy and not something to be avoided.  Conflict creates an opportunity for us to know each other better and to serve each other more." (Rush, Myron, and Stanley C. Baldwin. Richer Relationships: Leader's Guide. Victor Books, 1983. page 121)  One of the reasons why we might want to avoid facing conflict head on is to avoid offending people we love and care about.  However, if we truly do love others and care for their needs, dealing with conflict directly in a loving manner demonstrates that fact.  My avoidance of conflict can be self-centered rather than loving others at all.

Jesus did not shy away from conflict when He spoke the truth in love.  He did not pander to His listeners by telling them what they wanted or expected to hear.  Even the disciples of Jesus did not understand or agree with what He said, like when Peter responded to Jesus with, "Not so, LORD!"  When Jesus conversed with the self-righteous Pharisees He exposed their hypocrisy--not to humiliate or embarrass them or make Himself look good--but to lovingly rebuke them so they might consider their sinful ways, repent and be forgiven.  As it was they blindly were headed to destruction and compelled others to follow them.  The conflict arose when they did not believe the claims of Jesus He was the Christ and were envious of His attraction to the people they desperately wanted to influence themselves.  Jesus came to save them from sin and death, yet they were determined to kill Him.  Conflict between them was inevitable.

After Jesus identified the Pharisees as those who drew near to God with their lips, whose hearts were far from God and thus worshipped Him in vain, they were incensed.  Matthew 15:12-14 states, "Then His disciples came and said to Him, "Do You know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this saying?" ¹³ But He answered and said, "Every plant which My heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. ¹⁴ Let them alone. They are blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind leads the blind, both will fall into a ditch."  It is likely the disciples came to Jesus to inform Him of the Pharisee's offence because He did not give any impression it concerned Him.  The Pharisees avoided confronting Jesus publicly out of fear of losing face before the people.  Jesus, being God in the flesh, knew perfectly why the Pharisees were angry and offended over His remarks.  In His response to Peter Jesus was not apologetic or sorry, having spoken the truth of God's word with a heart of love and sincere care for others.

The reason for the offence of the Pharisees was because they were not planted by His Father, even as the tares were sown among the good seed by an enemy in the parable.  They were not to be preoccupied with trying to make peace with people with whom their could be no peace or unity, for they were of a different kind.  The Pharisee's offence of Jesus was not to be the concern of His disciples, for unbelief in Jesus had blinded them.  As blind leaders of the blind they would fall into a ditch shrouded in darkness, for they refused to acknowledge the Light of the World Who shone upon them.  The response of Jesus was not a callous, "Sorry, not sorry!" but pointed out the reason behind their offence and how their vain worship of God would lead to ruin.  Their offence and anger at Jesus made plain the hidden reality of hearts distant from God.

Because Christians are not Jesus, it is easy for us when facing conflict to fall into the snares of pride, selfishness, fear of man and frustration He expertly avoided at every turn.  Nothing Jesus ever said or did was regrettable or should He have apologised for, but there are countless times we should have repented when we justified ourselves.  We have been offensive and rude, not because we spoke the truth, but because we said it in a haughty, mocking manner or to make others look foolish.  We have avoided saying the truth because we knew it would be offensive and did not love others enough to meet their hypocrisy head-on, calling it what it is.  Thus we played the hypocrite despite knowing better!  The love of God and commitment to loving others means we can view conflict as an good opportunity to explore rather than something to selfishly avoid.  Because our eyes have been opened to see Jesus and receive His word, let us follow His leading to deal with conflict directly rather than sweeping it aside.  If others will stumble at Christ or fall into a ditch of offence, let it not be due to our lack of love or our sin.

Judge With Righteous Judgment

Christians and unbelievers can both cite scriptures to affirm they speak the truth or to accuse someone else of doing wrong.  One of the most classic cases of this involves a Christian calling something sin or expressing disgust, and the immediate reaction by someone else is that "Christians aren't supposed to judge."  Some may even quote Jesus partially in the hackneyed manner, "Judge not."  The irony is the one who calls out those who judge as doing wrong have committed the exact error they accuse the other of.

For those who are born again and have a working knowledge of Bible doctrine, it is abundantly clear God Himself has given people the capacity and responsibility to make judgments all the time--for good or ill.  Education, knowledge and the ability to reason are pointless without judgment.  Judging or deciding something is not wrong in itself, but why and the way we communicate this can be problematic and even sinful.  Those who delight in pointing out hypocrisy for the purpose of condemning others expose their own hypocrisy as it is written in Romans 2:1:  "Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things."  Jesus is the only One who pointed out a hypocrite without being one Himself.  Jesus was not sent to condemn this world but that sinners through Him might be saved.  

Did Jesus actually teach it was wrong to judge others?  He did no such thing.  What He did teach is that our manner and severity in judging others would be taken into account and establish the standard for being judged by God.  Jesus said in Matthew 7:1-2, "Judge not, that you be not judged. ² For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."  If we will judge ourselves to determine our sinful actions and words so we might repent of sin and do what is righteous, we will avoid harsh judgment.  It is very easy to find fault in sinners, and thus our primary responsibility before God is to take action to identify and put away our own sin.  This involves judgment, and it is a godly way to live.  Our mistake is to be preoccupied, vocal and confrontational about others doing wrong when we have ignored our own faults.

After Jesus miraculously healed a man at the Pool of Bethesda on the Sabbath, the Jewish rulers were furious when the man told them it was Jesus who commanded him to carry his bed home.  In their view this violation of the Sabbath day revealed Jesus was an evildoer, and they literally sought to kill Him.  John 7:21-24 reads, "Jesus answered and said to them, "I did one work, and you all marvel. ²² Moses therefore gave you circumcision (not that it is from Moses, but from the fathers), and you circumcise a man on the Sabbath. ²³ If a man receives circumcision on the Sabbath, so that the law of Moses should not be broken, are you angry with Me because I made a man completely well on the Sabbath? ²⁴ Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment."  Jesus did not condemn the Jews who accused Him of sin for judging Him but revealed they judged unjustly and hypocritically.  He asked why they were angry He healed a man.  They found fault with Him because they were envious of His miraculous power and fame, and they used His alleged breach of the Sabbath to justify their murderous plot.  They conveniently ignored the miraculous power of God at work through Jesus to heal and blindly condemned the Son of God.

As followers of Jesus, let us be wise to avoid the retaliatory style of the world that cares more about pointing out the faults of others, proving them wrong or humiliating others rather than first examining our own hearts according to God's word and the Gospel.  When Paul spoke to Felix in Acts 24 he reasoned concerning righteousness, temperance and judgment to come, and it is vital we navigate conflicts and disagreements with these points in mind.  The righteous God has provided His word and wisdom, and He holds us accountable to exercise self-control even when others are wrong.  We Christians will all stand before the Judgment Seat of Christ, so let us look beneath the surface and consider our own hearts when tempted to condemn others.

Rottenness of Unbelief

Today I made a disgusting discovery while putting potatoes away.  As I pulled out the basket where we keep them in a cupboard out of sunlight, the foul smell of decay hit my nostrils at the same time I saw a potato which had begun to rot.  I quickly carried the basket outside and deposited the potato in the bin.  Then I set about cleaning the cupboard and basket of any residue.

I found the damp spot inside the basket was quite small but moisture had seeped in a much larger area underneath.  I scrubbed the area with detergent, rinsed it thoroughly with water, then left the basket in the sun to dry.  It was surprising how the basket in a dry condition was strong and robust, yet moisture introduced by a spoiled potato in a matter of days caused areas of the basket to dissolve.  Had the bacteria-filled fluid remained longer, the whole basket might have been ruined.

Though the situation involved an inedible potato, ironically it provided food for thought.  The Christian's faith in Jesus Christ is a most practical thing, a gift from God that strengthens and enables us to serve our Saviour with gladness.  Faith is not only necessary but is useful as we take steps in obedience to God.  Like a rotten potato contacted the basket and began to weaken it, so doubt and unbelief can weaken our faith.  Jesus said faith in Him has the ability to move mountains, yet when we allow unbelief to permeate our minds we are the ones who move away from reliance upon God and His word.

The potato was secretly, silently rotting away in darkness, and so it is with unbelief in our own minds and hearts.  Unbelief is a sin which is the source of countless other sins like envy, fear, worry, lust, pride and malice.  Solomon wrote in Proverbs 14:30, "A sound heart is life to the body, but envy is rottenness to the bones."  It was only a matter of time before the rotten potato was discovered, and it was important to remove the potato from the basket and throw it away rather than hoping in vain it would just disappear.  One bad potato put other potatoes and the basket itself in jeopardy of becoming useless, and thus it needed to be promptly and personally dealt with.

So it is with unbelief.  As a rotting potato is attended by offensive sights and smells, so unbelief reveals itself in our thoughts, words and deeds.  Unbelief is marked by refusal to trust and obey God, even as the children of Israel would not enter the land of promise due to unbelief.  They would not enter in and thus could not enter in, for faith in God was required to advance in obedience.  Left in a cupboard every potato will go bad, and thus is it not a matter of "if" but "when" we will discover unbelief has crept into our hearts.  Bringing sin into God's marvelous light by confession and repentance is God's prescribed way to restoration by His grace.  Unlike a basket that wears out over time our faith can grow and be strengthened more than ever as we obey.

Having Done All

"Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."

Ephesians 6:13

A small phrase of God's word can have huge implications.  Take for instance the phrase in this well-known passage "having done all."  The context of what preceded this verse in Ephesians 6 helps us to understand what "all" alludes to.

Paul began the chapter with specific directives for followers of Jesus Christ concerning their relationships with others.  Having been born again by faith in Jesus, he lays out plainly the responsibilities of Christians in Ephesians 6:1-9 as they submit to one another in love:  "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ² "Honor your father and mother," which is the first commandment with promise: ³ "that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth." ⁴ And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. ⁵ Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; ⁶ not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, ⁷ with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, ⁸ knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. ⁹ And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him."

By faith in Jesus children were to obey their parents; instead of provoking their children fathers were to rear and train their children in the fear of God.  Slaves were to obey their masters and do the will of God from the heart, serving the LORD.  Masters were to do the same without threats knowing they were slaves of the most high God.  The commands set the stage for the believer's readiness and empowerment through the Holy Spirit in conflicts.  Ephesians 6:10 reads, "Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might."  The courage and strength of believers to will and do God's pleasure is derived from the Holy Spirit we are called to submit to.  Spiritual battles take place in our own hearts, minds and situations that require us to choose if we will yield to our flesh, the world or the Holy Spirit.

Often when this passage is preached the primary emphasis is placed on our need to put on the whole armour of God and what that means.  The phrase "having done all" should not be overlooked, for unless we submit to God and obey His will in our relationships with others we will be unable to put on the whole armor of God.  Praying on each piece of the armour of God has merit, but if we have not first put off the old man marked by disobedience to parents, who provokes others to wrath, seeks to please men out of selfishness or greed for personal gain, threatens or demeans others, how can we stand strong in the LORD having put on the whole armor of God?  As much as depends upon us, we are called to walk peaceably and in submission to one another in the love of God.  Submitting to God in our relationships with our spouse, children and fellow men is a vital aspect of yielding in our relationship with God in the Spirit.  My view is the spiritual armor is more an analogy of all God provides for us through the indwelling Holy Spirit having done all than individual items we miss out on when not named specifically.

Let us not for a moment think we are in ourselves sufficient to do any of these things, for our obedience to Christ and ability to be strong in the LORD and the power of His might is all by His grace.  Jesus taught about our obligations to men and God in Luke 17.  In response to the request of the disciples to increase their faith, Jesus explained how it is proper for a servant to first prepare food and serve his master and when he was finished the servant would eat.  Would the master thank the servant for doing his required duty?  Of course not.  Then Jesus concluded in Luke 17:10, "So likewise you, when you have done all those things which you are commanded, say, 'We are unprofitable servants. We have done what was our duty to do.'"  Our service unto God ought to be marked by humility, for we have only done what is our God-given responsibility to do:  to obey our parents, to train our children, to submit to those in authority over us and not to abuse authority in pride.  We are divinely enabled, having done all, to stand in the day of evil.  It is not by our might and power or even by effort to obey we can stand, but because of who we are in Christ Jesus, all by His grace.