The Proverbs 31...Husband?

In Proverbs 31, Lemuel described a virtuous wife whose value to her husband and family was far greater than precious stones.  Many women have made the industrious qualities of this woman an inspiration to live up to, and others feel inadequate as they consider her superhuman work ethic.  Because this is written generally of "a virtuous woman," I do not believe all these specific skills or qualities are necessary to be considered virtuous.  At the same time, the praiseworthy description ought to inspire women (and men too!) to use their God-given talents to serve God and others in the roles He has called us to.

A virtuous wife is a blessing to her husband as it is written in Proverbs 31:11-12:  "The heart of her husband safely trusts her; so he will have no lack of gain. ¹² She does him good and not evil all the days of her life."  The chaste, morally upright and active wife is marked by industry.  She takes initiative and prepares for the future.  She cares and provides for the needs of others, especially those of her own household.  This wife is savvy to earn money and brings prosperity, and she is governed by wisdom and kindness in what she says and does.  Rather than giving place to idleness, she excels in all she puts her hands to do.  Her domestic skills and talents are profitable beyond her home, and her husband and children praise her in Proverbs 31:28-29:  "Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ²⁹ "Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all."

What struck me as I consider this passage is how many virtuous wives have been hindered from reaching their full stature because of a domineering and untrusting husband.  As intimidating as the description of a virtuous woman is for women, it can also unsettle men.  It requires faith in God for a husband to trust his wife to take initiative as described in Proverbs 31:16:  "She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard."  Husband, would you trust your wife and approve of her making major financial decisions?  It is possible for a husband and a wife to take initiative in a complementary marriage relationship, and this requires mutual submission before the LORD and one another.  Speaking from the perspective of a husband of a virtuous wife, I can attest how the LORD has used her industry and labour to bring immeasurable profit to our marriage, family and home that would never have existed without her drive, wisdom and foresight.

Proverbs 31:25 reads, "Strength and honour are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come."  The strength of the virtuous woman is not derived from her independence but by submission to the LORD and her husband she respects.  A wife is made strong when her husband loves her like Jesus does the church, and God's sacrificial, active love makes her to thrive in her role.  The future of a virtuous wife is rejoicing, for her husband and children will rise and call her blessed.  The passage concludes with Proverbs 31:30-31:  "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. ³¹ Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."  It is one thing to be praised by your husband and children, but how much greater it is to hear "Well done!" from our LORD Jesus in His presence forever!  Since our LORD will praise us for a life well lived, the husband of a virtuous wife ought to honour her publicly and reward her with praise.

No Shame in Sorrow

After hearing of the affliction and reproach Nehemiah's brethren were experiencing in Jerusalem, he was deeply grieved.  He wept, mourned and fasted and he prayed to God on behalf of those who lived in a city with the wall broken down and the gates burned with fire.  Four months after Nehemiah heard the shocking news, king Artaxerxes noticed he was sad in his presence--and this had never happened before.  Nehemiah 2:2-3 says, "Therefore the king said to me, "Why is your face sad, since you are not sick? This is nothing but sorrow of heart." So I became dreadfully afraid, ³ and said to the king, "May the king live forever! Why should my face not be sad, when the city, the place of my fathers' tombs, lies waste, and its gates are burned with fire?"

I am no expert on proper etiquette of cupbearers in the presence of a Persian king, but Nehemiah understood very well the importance of showing upmost respect and honour to his king.  To appear before the Persian king in any context was a sober duty, for one misstep could mean your job, freedom or even cost your life.  It was important for Nehemiah to remember his station and the total authority of his king, and one did not speak unless being directly addressed.  When the king asked Nehemiah about being sorrowful in his presence, Nehemiah was afraid.  As a cupbearer, the king needed to trust him completely and remain confident of his loyalty.  Would seeing Nehemiah sad arouse suspicion of foul play?  Nehemiah respectfully and wisely explained the cause of his sadness, that Jerusalem lay waste.

It struck me today that as Artaxerxes noticed Nehemiah was sad, there were likely kings who frowned upon their servants being sorrowful in their presence as an unpardonable sin.  Artaxerxes was favourable towards Nehemiah, and gave him leave and all that was needed to commence on rebuilding the walls and gates.  What is awesome about the Most High God, the KING OF KINGS, is it does not anger or annoy Him when we are sorrowful and seek Him.  We can weep in His presence and He does not have us put outside until we pull ourselves together; He does not take offence when we are troubled and upset.  Psalm 56:8-9 (NLT) says, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. ⁹ My enemies will retreat when I call to you for help. This I know: God is on my side!"  God keeps a better reckoning of our pains than we do, for who among us can know the tears we have shed?  God does not cast us off because we are unhappy, for He can use our unhappiness to draw us to Him and seek the help and salvation only He can supply.

We can be ashamed of our sorrow and tears and apologise for them in front of friends, yet there is no shame to shed tears in the presence of our LORD.  He draws near to us when we are sorrowful like Jesus did to Mary Magdalene who wept outside the empty tomb.  Mary had just finished tearfully telling angels she did not know where the Lord Jesus had been taken and John 20:14 says: "Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus."  Isn't that wonderful, how Jesus was right beside Mary?  Jesus asked why she was weeping and whom she was seeking--and this dear woman, sight bleary with tears, found the one she hoped most to see miraculously alive and at hand.  Rather than being put off by our sadness, our LORD draws near to hear and help as Psalm 34:18 says:  "The LORD is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit."

When Progress is to Step Away

One key aspect of God's character and ways is that He does not change.  In this regard (and countless others!) God is entirely unique, unlike everything and everyone on earth.  There is much about us that changes over time:  our minds, bodies, reactions and abilities can improve or degrade in various ways.  Governments, laws, organisations, businesses, products, quality of components, and members of an association are among countless things that change--and not always for the better.

Recently there was a change of the pope of the Catholic church, and this position of leadership has sway of the organisation as a whole.  One concern voiced by ministry leaders was how "progressive" the views of Pope Leo XIV are towards controversial topics such as abortion, a homosexual lifestyle and euthanasia.  As a Christian who believes God and His word do not change, the word "progressive" as a description sends off alarm bells because it is always a departure from God's wise ways which are established and immutable.  People and society continue to change, and there will always be some who want the church to "change with the times."  The church of Jesus Christ cannot do this and remain the church.  What some people call progress would better be called apostacy.

It is an infinitely good thing God does not change, for our salvation depends upon it.  In Malachi 3, God spoke of the coming of the Messiah who would purify and judge His people that they would offer to the LORD an offering in righteousness.  Malachi 3:5-6 says, "And I will come near you for judgment; I will be a swift witness against sorcerers, against adulterers, against perjurers, against those who exploit wage earners and widows and orphans, and against those who turn away an alien--because they do not fear Me," says the LORD of hosts. ⁶ "For I am the LORD, I do not change; therefore you are not consumed, O sons of Jacob."  God's people failed to observe His statutes, yet God did not alter His judgments to accommodate sin that would lead to their destruction.  God will uphold His righteous standards in holiness, and it is because the LORD does not change His people are eternally preserved.

The living God who revealed Himself to Moses is the same LORD who has been revealed to all in Jesus Christ and the Gospel.  Exodus 34:6-7 says, "And the LORD passed before him and proclaimed, "The LORD, the LORD God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, ⁷ keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children's children to the third and the fourth generation."  If our Creator was not merciful and gracious, there would be no possible way for sinners to be forgiven, redeemed and transformed.  As all the good things we enjoy are from the hand of the LORD--even trials He makes work for our good--it is vital for God's people to fear God and walk in His ways.  Jesus Christ saves and makes fruitful those who abide in Him by faith.  To progress from Christ who alone has eternal life is to step away from Christ, to revert back to our own ways that only bring death.

Our Immune System and Unity

"Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!"

Psalm 133:1

God has created the human body to be comprised of many different parts that have unique functions that benefit the whole body.  Unity should not be confused with uniformity, for every person has their own personality and perspective.  Even identical twins that are difficult to tell apart are their own individual person, a unique soul endowed with gifts and abilities by our Creator.

In Psalm 133, David exclaimed how good and pleasant it was for brethren to dwell together in unity.  The Hebrews received an inheritance of land by lot, and they were separated into various tribes.  The tribe of Levi was distinct because God was their inheritance, and the ministry of the tabernacle and service to God was their privilege and responsibility.  The chief priests were of the line of Aaron, another distinction.  Yet all God's people were brethren, united by blood of the line of Abraham and spiritual brethren by faith in the God of Israel.

In the New Testament, several times the church of Jesus Christ is likened to a Body made up of many members with Jesus as our head.  Local Christian churches are part of the global church, united in Christ and His love despite different practices, form and heritage.  Jesus who unites us is greater than minor differences in theology that tend to separate us.  It is good and pleasant for brothers and sisters in the church to dwell together in unity for the glory of God and the edification of each member.  Because we are different people at various stages of spiritual rehabilitation and renewal, people who naturally think and express themselves differently and are often ignorant of other's struggles and pains, conflicts will arise.  Mix in misunderstandings, offence, bitterness, unforgiveness and other sinful works of the flesh, division of members seems inevitable.

Our bodies contain an incredible amount of complex systems that work together to support the health of the whole body.  One of these is our immune system that has various types of white blood cells that remembers all the microbes, fungus and bacteria that have been harmful to the body and identify them as they circulate.  Antibodies are able to determine the foreign invaders and mark antigens for attack.  T cells target these harmful cells and destroy them.  Massive problems arise when our immune system does not recognise harmful cells and feeds them, allowing them to multiply which results in colds, flu and even cancer.  God designed all the members of the church who are born again by the Holy Spirit to fulfil a similar function, having provided a blueprint of righteousness in His word so we can recognise sin and repent.

If a healthy body does not directly deal with invading microbes, this will result in sickness and possibly death.  Similarly, members of the body of Christ are to mobilise to directly deal with our sin by confession and repentance--while gently restoring sinners overtaken in a trespass--knowing we also can be tempted.  Our individual connection to the head (Jesus Christ) by abiding in Him means we can be a healthy, fruitful and productive member of the body even when a church is a mess.  We cannot walk in unity if we are proud, and we ought to follow Christ's example to humble ourselves as Philippians 2:1-3 says:  "Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, ² fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. ³ Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself."

Running a fever is a symptom our bodies are fighting off an infection, and fevers are not fun.  It is not pleasant or enjoyable to confess our sin, admit we have done wrong or need to ask for forgiveness.  In the end, however, dealing with sin directly provides incredible benefits we and the whole body of Christ can enjoy.  Cells in our immune system remember foreign microbes they have determined to be harmful and quickly mobilise to destroy them should they ever seek to invade again.  When Christ delivers and cleanses us from a sin that once held us in bondage, our senses are heightened to quickly recognise it, make wise choices to avoid it and to do what is pleasing to God instead.  By confession and repentance of sin, these are profitable spiritual exercises that contribute to the health of the church by walking in love and unity with Jesus Christ and one another.