During the Australian Open finals I saw an advertisement of an upcoming show of quite possibly the most ill-advised reality-type show ever: "Married at First Sight." I freely confess I have arrived to this negative view primarily on the basis of ads alone because I have never watched the show. It seems ridiculous to pair perfect strangers together as a married couple in a culture which celebrates sex without a marriage relationship that honours God. I don't know how contestants are compensated beyond money or becoming television celebrities (or gaining a lifelong spouse!), but in my opinion it seems too high a price to toy with people's emotions and feelings for a "social experiment" produced for entertainment.
The promo was particularly impacting because of the harsh reception a young woman named Connie received by family members when she announced she planned to appear on the show. Connie shared with emotion how she often felt lonely and hoped going on the show and being married would change that. I know Connie isn't alone. In our hook-up culture largely devoid of intimacy or godly morality it is increasingly difficult to connect on a personal level that lasts. This is not to say the church or Christians always have it right. There are lonely people in the church, in Christian ministry, families, and marriages who seem to have everything going for them.
How I wish I had the opportunity to sit down for a chat with Connie and people who feel like her. One thing I know for certain is marriage is no silver bullet to kill loneliness dead. Placing your hopes on a marriage or another person to fulfill a gnawing need within you is misguided: it is like the hope that eating a wholesome meal will permanently eliminate your need to eat. No one can live up to our expectations. To be loved, accepted, and belong is a need all people have only God is able to fully meet. Looking to others to supply these needs for us will leave us wanting more and filled with dissatisfaction. David wrote in Psalm 23:1, "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want." Because God was David's Shepherd he did not lack anything and was assured of all his needs being met forever by the God who gives eternal life. David found satisfaction and rest in God who loved him.
It used to be common to say in marriage vows before God, "...till death do we part." It is God's will marriage between a man and woman be lifelong, but it will not last forever. The believer's relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ is an eternal union with our Creator who loves us and desires we be together forever. A married person can feel alone in a relationship devoid of love and affection, but a single person can experience a satisfying, fulfilling life without loneliness through a relationship with God freely offered and received by His grace. Amazing that God would call our name, that He would seek a union with us more permanent and perfect than the best marriage!
Since God knows our needs and has promised to meet them, we can trust the God who created us to supply our needs in His time and way. He joins us to His own Body the Church with brothers and sisters, provides spouses and children according to His will. We can know we are not alone because Jesus has said, "I will never leave or forsake you." It is this relationship with God which positively impacts all other relationships because God alone is already satisfying us: it is not about how other people make us feel but that we already belong to God and are loved by Him. As God's love flows through us to others He continues to fill us. Instead of thinking, "I'm not getting anything out of this relationship" God shows us how we can love one another as He loves us. The affirmation God gives is more than positive thinking but unconditional belonging where feelings of loneliness flit away.
The promo was particularly impacting because of the harsh reception a young woman named Connie received by family members when she announced she planned to appear on the show. Connie shared with emotion how she often felt lonely and hoped going on the show and being married would change that. I know Connie isn't alone. In our hook-up culture largely devoid of intimacy or godly morality it is increasingly difficult to connect on a personal level that lasts. This is not to say the church or Christians always have it right. There are lonely people in the church, in Christian ministry, families, and marriages who seem to have everything going for them.
How I wish I had the opportunity to sit down for a chat with Connie and people who feel like her. One thing I know for certain is marriage is no silver bullet to kill loneliness dead. Placing your hopes on a marriage or another person to fulfill a gnawing need within you is misguided: it is like the hope that eating a wholesome meal will permanently eliminate your need to eat. No one can live up to our expectations. To be loved, accepted, and belong is a need all people have only God is able to fully meet. Looking to others to supply these needs for us will leave us wanting more and filled with dissatisfaction. David wrote in Psalm 23:1, "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want." Because God was David's Shepherd he did not lack anything and was assured of all his needs being met forever by the God who gives eternal life. David found satisfaction and rest in God who loved him.
It used to be common to say in marriage vows before God, "...till death do we part." It is God's will marriage between a man and woman be lifelong, but it will not last forever. The believer's relationship with God through faith in Jesus Christ is an eternal union with our Creator who loves us and desires we be together forever. A married person can feel alone in a relationship devoid of love and affection, but a single person can experience a satisfying, fulfilling life without loneliness through a relationship with God freely offered and received by His grace. Amazing that God would call our name, that He would seek a union with us more permanent and perfect than the best marriage!
Since God knows our needs and has promised to meet them, we can trust the God who created us to supply our needs in His time and way. He joins us to His own Body the Church with brothers and sisters, provides spouses and children according to His will. We can know we are not alone because Jesus has said, "I will never leave or forsake you." It is this relationship with God which positively impacts all other relationships because God alone is already satisfying us: it is not about how other people make us feel but that we already belong to God and are loved by Him. As God's love flows through us to others He continues to fill us. Instead of thinking, "I'm not getting anything out of this relationship" God shows us how we can love one another as He loves us. The affirmation God gives is more than positive thinking but unconditional belonging where feelings of loneliness flit away.
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