The Rod and Rebuke

"Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul."

Proverbs 29:17

This is one of many proverbs that provide wise instruction for parents in raising their children.  Children need correction, it is true parents at times need correction as well.  Correction is not only being aware of making a mistake or expressing displeasure, but taking action to instruct and guide to do what is right.

Marking and correcting papers at school are two different things.  To mark a paper or exam is to point out the faults and provide the final grade.  Correcting requires an additional step to marking errors but providing the correct answer and even an explanation if necessary.  I believe a lot of the frustration parents experience with misbehaving children is marking without correction or disciplinary action.  Complaining or venting about bad behaviour is not discipline, but a disciplined parent will take loving action to correct according to guidance they have received from God and His word.

Warnings are wise when followed up by prompt, appropriate consequences determined before the offence occurred.  Reproof using words is important, and at times there is need for a rod.  A couple verses earlier Solomon said in Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."  The rod and rebuke are two different things.  We might imagine our rebuke can be employed as a rod to avoid taking physical disciplinary action.  Speaking with someone is not the same as taking corrective action, and Paul made this clear in his letter to the church in 1 Corinthians 4:21:  "What do you want? Shall I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?"  We know from God's dealings with His people the rod and love are not opposed to one another, and Paul was willing to wield a whip to drive out the abhorrent sin from the church even as Jesus purified the temple.

While it was common among the Romans and even Jews to whip those who transgressed the law, it is not so in many cultures today.  For the protection of children and parents there are laws in place to deter abusive practices.  The principle remains true that the rod and rebuke are two different things:  words to warn and direct, and the rod to discipline and correct.  Correcting children means proactive and consequential action must take place beyond scolding, complaining, whining or venting.  It is doing more than putting the foot down but taking responsible action with authority given by God to parents that is best for the health and well-being of that child even if it is difficult, costly and painful.

I say to parents using Paul's words, "What do you want?"  Do you want to continue feeling exasperated, frustrated and powerless in the light of foolish behaviour in your child, or will you take action to correct him by doing more than complaining?  Having children is a delightful gift of God, and when we are willing to receive correction from God in our parenting we will experience rest by faith and obedience to Him.  Rebuke and the rod go together like a two-part adhesive, and attempts to employ one without the other will not perform as God intends.