Peaceable Fruit of Righteousness

Early in my insulator apprenticeship we were urged to make a positive impression by being on time, working hard and having a good attitude because the reputation made as an apprentice would stick for the next 10 years!  Apprentices who were late, lazy or arrogant would find it difficult to ditch their sullied reputations that were set in stone even when they worked hard to redeem themselves.  King Solomon wrote a similar thing in Proverbs 20:11:  "Even a child is known by his deeds, whether what he does is pure and right."  Parents play a larger role than they may think in raising their children in the knowledge of God by their love, faithfulness and consistency in following Christ.

This morning I spent some time continuing to dig up stumps and roots that enmeshed themselves in retaining walls.  Once established, trees are not the easiest plants to remove--but it crossed my mind how much easier the removal of the stumps would have been if they had not been left to grow in their original locations for 6 years.  One tree in a storm battered the guttering on the second story to pieces, and two other trees worked to destroy a wall to its foundations.  Proverbs 22:6 gives a valuable principle:  "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."  A wise parent not only considers the present rebellious behaviour in their children, but considers where it will eventually lead.  As the tree grows vertically, roots are also being put down and spreading out to better anchor it.  My tree situation illustrates what may seem an acceptable location when immature can prove to be disastrous in coming years.

As hard as it may be to train children in the way they should go, it is best to start this as soon as a child has understanding and be consistent with some basic principles.  With God's help and example as the best heavenly Father, we should do as we say without going back on our word.  Our inconsistency can hamstring our best efforts when we do not assert ourselves as the parent with unwavering discipline.  People do not seem to comprehend how they train their children to disobey when they continue to repeat directives rather than enforcing what they initially said:  say it once, and ensure there are prompt,  appropriate consequences when there is not immediate obedience.  Counting to three is a great way to undermine your authority as a parent, for you are enforcing disobedience and rebellion is permissible until the magic word "Three!" is uttered.  An occasional warning is fine, but do not threaten.  Follow through by doing exactly as you said!  The instant you sense a willful choice to disregard what you have said, take immediate disciplinary action.  Discipline should be a given, not a surprise.

Chastening is not pleasant for parent or child (even when in their best interest), but it yields good fruit in the end.  As the writer of Hebrews said in Hebrews 12:11, "Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."  A parent may shrink from displeasing their child, but the rotten fruit of this negligence can be seen when David failed to displease his son Adonijah at any time by asking, "Why have you done this?" As a consequence there was no boundary provided to guide him from following in the footsteps of his rebellious brother Absalom (1 Kings 1:6).  Your role as a parent is not to give them whatever they want or even to please them:  your call and responsibility is to please God by raising your children in the admonition of the LORD (Ephesians 6:4).  This means to lovingly instruct and put them in their proper place, to teach them to honour their father and mother as you humbly submit to your Father in heaven.