Refusing Comfort?

When facing tragedy and loss, we can be overwhelmed with hopeless feelings to the point we can refuse comfort.  We observe this in the life of Jacob after his eldest son Reuben presented the special colourful coat Joseph wore that was torn and soiled with blood.  There was no mistaking the coat, for Jacob had given it to his son who was at the time 17 years old.  The destroyed state of the coat caused Jacob to assume the worst.  Genesis 37:34-35 reads, "Then Jacob tore his clothes, put sackcloth on his waist, and mourned for his son many days. ³⁵ And all his sons and all his daughters arose to comfort him; but he refused to be comforted, and he said, "For I shall go down into the grave to my son in mourning." Thus his father wept for him."

Because Joseph was precious to His father, he took no comfort from his sons, daughters and grandchildren.  He was determined to grieve the loss of his son presently and perpetually, for the death of Joseph was now a dark cloud he was resolved to remain beneath for his remaining days on earth.  He loved his son so much to imagine not actively mourning him was an offensive thought.  Grieving tapped into deep feeling that honoured his son, painful as it was.  Memories and mourning was all Jacob possessed of Joseph, for his body had not been recovered and given a burial.  Jacob likely to some extent blamed himself for Joseph's violent demise, for he was the one who sent Joseph to check on his brothers.

Things did not pan out as Jacob initially thought, and this is a very good thing.  It turned out Joseph was very much alive, having been sold by his brothers to Ishmaelite traders who pawned him off as a slave in Egypt.  Joseph was ultimately, miraculously promoted to second in the kingdom of Egypt under Pharaoah.  It was by the wisdom of God Joseph gave insight and counsel into a coming seven year famine and how to prepare the nation to surive it.  While Joseph was thriving, I suspect Jacob was still sighing and mourning the loss of his son with tears.  I wonder if he kept the torn coat, a relic of a son long gone.  We do not read of Jacob sending a search party in the hopes of recovering his body or crying out to God in his grief.  His son was gone, and there was no remedy for such sorrow.

Providentially God sent Joseph's brothers to Egypt, and over time Joseph made himself known to them.  The first thing he desired to speak of after revealing his identity was the welfare of his father Jacob.  By the hand of his brothers he sent carts to carry his father, household and goods back to Egypt where he would provide for them during the famine.  When his brothers told Jacob his son Joseph was alive, Jacob's heart literally skipped a beat--or several beats as the scripture says, "his heart stood still."  By hearing their words and seeing the carts Joseph sent, Jacob was convinced of the truth and he "revived."  Genesis 45:28 says, "Then Israel said, "It is enough. Joseph my son is still alive. I will go and see him before I die."  In a vision during the first night of the journey to Egypt, God spoke with Jacob and promised to be with him, bring him back to Canaan--and Joseph would put his hands on his eyes.  Jacob would be with him in his final moments.

When Jacob was joyfully reunined with his son Joseph, he said:  "Now I am ready to die because I have seen you alive."  Jacob continued to live for another 17 years, the same length of time he spent with Joseph as a lad.  He was given double the time he thought possible.  In the twilight of his life Jacob was also able to spend time with Joseph's sons whom he adopted as his own and blessed them.  Jacob was thankful to God and Genesis 48:11 tells us, "And Israel said to Joseph, "I had not thought to see your face; but in fact, God has also shown me your offspring!"  Jacob (Israel) did not go to his grave in sorrow but was filled with gratitude and joy to God for uniting him with Joseph and his children as well.  On earth death separates, and God can use our sorrows to draw us to Himself.  Things we hear and see and tragedies can be devastating, yet there remains comfort and hope for us in God.

God gives life, and He can also take it away.  God sent His only begotten Son Jesus Christ who died on the cross to atone for the sins of the world.  Praise God Jesus has swallowed up death in victory.  Though our bodies will go the way of the earth, there is the sure hope of being gathered to our glorious God in His presence forever--along with all those who received Jesus by faith.  No tragedy, trouble or loss can strip us of our confidence, comfort and rest that is found in our living, awesome God.  If we like Jacob lose sight of this, God is always gracious to extend comfort and love to us because He is faithful, the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).  Will we receive God's comfort or try to drown our sorrows with tears?