The Rod and Rebuke

"Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul."

Proverbs 29:17

This is one of many proverbs that provide wise instruction for parents in raising their children.  Children need correction, it is true parents at times need correction as well.  Correction is not only being aware of making a mistake or expressing displeasure, but taking action to instruct and guide to do what is right.

Marking and correcting papers at school are two different things.  To mark a paper or exam is to point out the faults and provide the final grade.  Correcting requires an additional step to marking errors but providing the correct answer and even an explanation if necessary.  I believe a lot of the frustration parents experience with misbehaving children is marking without correction or disciplinary action.  Complaining or venting about bad behaviour is not discipline, but a disciplined parent will take loving action to correct according to guidance they have received from God and His word.

Warnings are wise when followed up by prompt, appropriate consequences determined before the offence occurred.  Reproof using words is important, and at times there is need for a rod.  A couple verses earlier Solomon said in Proverbs 29:15, "The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother."  The rod and rebuke are two different things.  We might imagine our rebuke can be employed as a rod to avoid taking physical disciplinary action.  Speaking with someone is not the same as taking corrective action, and Paul made this clear in his letter to the church in 1 Corinthians 4:21:  "What do you want? Shall I come to you with a rod, or in love and a spirit of gentleness?"  We know from God's dealings with His people the rod and love are not opposed to one another, and Paul was willing to wield a whip to drive out the abhorrent sin from the church even as Jesus purified the temple.

While it was common among the Romans and even Jews to whip those who transgressed the law, it is not so in many cultures today.  For the protection of children and parents there are laws in place to deter abusive practices.  The principle remains true that the rod and rebuke are two different things:  words to warn and direct, and the rod to discipline and correct.  Correcting children means proactive and consequential action must take place beyond scolding, complaining, whining or venting.  It is doing more than putting the foot down but taking responsible action with authority given by God to parents that is best for the health and well-being of that child even if it is difficult, costly and painful.

I say to parents using Paul's words, "What do you want?"  Do you want to continue feeling exasperated, frustrated and powerless in the light of foolish behaviour in your child, or will you take action to correct him by doing more than complaining?  Having children is a delightful gift of God, and when we are willing to receive correction from God in our parenting we will experience rest by faith and obedience to Him.  Rebuke and the rod go together like a two-part adhesive, and attempts to employ one without the other will not perform as God intends.

Look to the LORD

"Listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, you who seek the LORD: look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the hole of the pit from which you were dug. ² Look to Abraham your father, and to Sarah who bore you; for I called him alone, and blessed him and increased him."

Isaiah 51:1-2

God bid His people to remember Who He was to them, and how He established and blessed them.  The children of Israel were descendants of Abraham and Sarah who were called by God and with whom God made a covenant.  God caused them to miraculously bring forth a son Isaac in their old age and through them all the earth would be blessed.  Jews who looked to the Law and the LORD were also called to remember the faith of Abraham who believed God, and it was accounted to him as righteousness.

The cliche "chip off the old block" conveys the chip is made of the same original material it was hewn from.  A hickory tree chopped into pieces remains hickory, and the God of Abraham was the God of Israel and his descendants forever.  Abraham did not earn the favour of God by his efforts, but God graciously called Abraham out of idolatry and led him on a journey of faith in God based on God's sovereignty, power and goodness.  Abraham did not always look to God for help in trouble, and neither did the children of Israel or people to this day.

Isaiah 22:8-11 describes how God's people looked to many things rather than Him when He allowed them to suffer affliction:  "He removed the protection of Judah. You looked in that day to the armour of the House of the Forest; ⁹ you also saw the damage to the city of David, that it was great; and you gathered together the waters of the lower pool. ¹⁰ You numbered the houses of Jerusalem, and the houses you broke down to fortify the wall. ¹¹ You also made a reservoir between the two walls for the water of the old pool. But you did not look to its Maker, nor did you have respect for Him who fashioned it long ago."  Ironic, isn't it?  God's people saw the damage done to the city of David and forgot to seek God who chose and anointed David.  They were concerned about the breaches of the wall, tore apart homes to fill the gaps,  stopped up the spring to deter invaders, dug a trench to collect water and yet did not look to God who dwelt among them.  They were more moved by the threat of a siege by their enemies than respecting God who had always protected and provided for them.

It is a good question to consider:  am I looking to the LORD by faith in Him?  Am I looking unto Jesus the Author and Finisher of my faith?  Am I considerate of those deemed heirs of righteousness by faith in God, those who by faith subdued kingdoms, in weakness were made strong, escaped the sword, who were tortured and tempted, people who were destitute and tormented who obtained a good report by faith (Heb. 11:32-40)?  They endured because they looked to the LORD Jesus Christ, the Rock of Salvation, the One upon Whom our lives are built by grace through faith.  Let us look to Him Who saves, delivers and provides all good things, for He is most blessed.  Rejoice and trust in our Saviour who said in Matthew 5:6, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled."  By the Living Bread sent from heaven and the Living Water of the Holy Spirit, we find satisfaction and rest for our souls.

Let No One Despise You

"Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you."

Titus 2:15

After reading these words in the Bible last night, it prompted some discussion about what Paul meant by saying in his letter to Titus, "Let no one despise you."  Certainly Paul did not suggest Titus could control what people thought about him when he exhorted or corrected them, for Jesus said to His disciples who would suffer persecution in Luke 21:17:  "And you will be hated by all for My name's sake."  These verses compliment each other well.  As the disciples were called to remain faithful and obedient to Jesus in spite of persecution, so Titus was not to be intimidated in doing what God directed him to do even when he faced opposition.

In Titus chapter 2, Paul outlined sound doctrine Titus was to hold forth to Christians concerning their personal conduct.  It is likely not everyone would be open to correction or instruction when it involved rebuke, correction or an exhortation to personal change.  No one was excluded from those to whom he was responsible to instruct:  aged men, aged women who in turn were to guide younger women, and younger men.  Titus was also directed engage with people with various positions in Roman society, even exhorting slaves to be obedient to their masters.

Titus 2:7-8 shows the life of Titus was to provide a godly example that aligned with God's wisdom, "...in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, ⁸ sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you."  Titus was to order his conduct in submission to the LORD he served with meekness, humility and devotion.  People might despise Titus because they do not appreciate his correction, but Titus was not to give any cause for someone to hate him because of rudeness, harshness or being inconsiderate.

If all Titus did was correct, it would lead to discouragement.  Thus he was also to balance correction and instruction with encouragement, seeking to edify believers in the church in Christ's love.  It would have been easy for Titus to have been intimidated to approach fellow believers who were older, held positions of authority in government, business or in the church.  Paul exhorted Titus not to allow the fear of man to hinder him from exhortation or rebuke in a loving, gracious manner in obedience to God.  No person is above the need for admonition, and those in need of rebuke can resist and oppose those who speak the truth.  Titus did not need to be told to "harden up:"  he needed to submit to God's authority in obedience rather than being controlled by the fear of man.

When we in obedience to God's prompting have done or said the right thing motivated by love for God and others, sometimes people will hate us.  This should not surprise us, nor should we perpetually kick ourselves because they did not receive correction well.  There is much we can learn in retrospect when we thought we did the right thing and God is faithful to reveal our own faults and need for repentance and greater humility.  David did the right thing in refusing to kill Saul who sought his life, but his heart smote him for cutting off the corner of his robe.  Even in doing what is right our flaws present themselves for correction.  Better than despising ourselves or being intimidated by others, we like Titus are called to love, trust and obey God.

Building or Pulling Down

"The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands."

Proverbs 14:1

The actions people take have real consequences.  Paul urged the believers in Corinth to take heed how they built on the foundation he provided them as a master builder, that they build their lives by faith in  Jesus Christ and the Gospel.  In the Sermon on the Mount Jesus contrasted the wise and foolish man:  those who hear the words of Jesus and obey He likened to a man who built a house on the rock that would stand firm in the storm.  The foolish man heard the words of Jesus but did not do them.  He was likened to one who builds on the sand and the fall of that house would be great.

Everyone who has received life from God by grace chooses how they build their life day by day.  The wise woman builds a house that will stand, for it is built with acknowledgment of God's wisdom and ways.  The foolish woman, however, builds as if God does not exist.  This is like one that builds "off the plan," a dwelling without permits that will be condemned and razed to the ground by the council because it is condemned.  A person might be able to shift the blame for their poor investment by being deceived by an unscrupulous or deceitful builder, but no one can dodge personal responsibility for the condition of their heart before the almighty God and Judge of all.

It is easy to blame others for choices we have made ourselves and now must live with.  We can blame the careless conduct of others for losing our temper; we can blame an addiction on the power temptation has over us.  But those who are wise through being born again by faith in Jesus should not cower behind lame excuses.  Solomon was the wisest man yet worked to pull down his own kingdom through idolatry.  His personal transgressions and rebellion against God made a negative impact on a nation by many who followed his example.  Yet even Solomon's subjects could not rightly blame him for their idolatry, for God had given them His word and revealed Himself in righteous statutes.  God held each person accountable for their sin, and should they cause others to stumble they would also answer for it.

Let us be those who take heed how we build our lives, edified in the grace of God and upholding the wisdom of God in righteous conduct.  If someone is intent on pulling down his or her house, it does not mean houses are bad.  The world in which we live is quick to find blame in government, society, the lack of education or claims problems are systemic when God still holds individuals personally accountable for their actions.  We cannot rightly blame our upbringing, peer pressure we feel, the behaviour of others or any "ism" for choosing to pull down our own house with our hands.  God is greater than the sum of all our problems and conditions, and praise Him He transforms us with His wisdom, goodness and grace.  Even if others work to tear us down, God lifts us up.  Our hope, comfort, peace, joy and rest--the life of abundance--is in Him.