Fortified by Failure

Failure has been the greatest catalyst for positive change in my life.  It is healthy in to recognize our failures so we might learn from our own mistakes.  Satan would love for our failures to paralyze us with self-focus and drown us in despair.  As we mature in Christ, we will begin to view our conduct, attitudes, and words more closely according to God's perfect standard.  The Holy Spirit convicts us of sins we did not even recognize previously.  God allows us to fail so we might recognize our failure and decide once and for all to forsake sin.

Today I failed terribly, almost a perfect storm of circumstances which took me off guard.  But to the God who controls the elements, such an scenario was allowed so I might see myself as the failure I am on my own.  I am still heartbroken and grieve over it, even as Peter wept bitterly after denying Christ.  I drove to a new jobsite today and parked my truck near some employees at the plant.  While gathering materials, a woman and man approached me, seemingly amused.  "Is that bumper sticker real?" the man asked.  For those of you who do not know, I have a bumper sticker on the back of my truck that reads, "National Atheist's Day - April 1."  In small print below it says, "The fool has said in his heart there is no God." (Psalm 14:1)  Because April 1st is "April Fool's Day," and only the foolish deny the existence of God, April 1st is National Atheist's day according to the sticker.

His question caught me off guard.  "Yes?" I said confused.  "Oh that's good," he answered smiling.  "I think atheists should have their own day.  I get really sick of people around here always pushing religion on me."  "Well," I began, "that is your right.  You don't have to believe what you don't want to."  He said a couple more things and he said his co-worker had said the bumper sticker must be a joke.  "It is a joke," I said as I gathered my things.  "Oh well," he said.  "I guess I'm not too smart, huh?" he laughed with his friend.  "I thought it might have been real."  And that is how our interaction ended.

My conscience smote me.  I was embarrassed to tell the man he misunderstood the sticker, and since he had already told me he was sick of hearing about religion from his co-workers I certainly didn't want to ambush him!  Here was an opportunity to speak of my faith and I allowed it to slip away without a word!  Should his misunderstanding of the bumper sticker be a cause to further ingrain his hatred towards followers of God?  The reason I bought the sticker was because I thought it was a funny discussion starter, not because I judged the man who stood before me as a fool.  This man came up to me thinking I was an atheist, and I said nothing to change his mind.

Countless justifications have popped into my mind, but they remain lame, pitiful, excuses.  Our flesh needs no invitation to justify inaction.  It was clear to me I had not been prepared mentally or spiritually for that interaction.  Instead of actively looking for opportunities to share my faith, I was in work mode.  I had a job to do, and it did not involve a chat about bumper stickers.  I see this failure as a blessing from God.  Every single day He leaves me on this earth is an opportunity to right the wrongs of today.  I cannot fix the gross negligence of today, but through repentance press on in a deeper level of humility and determination.

Satan had plenty to say about this as well.  His tone and foul breath is so different from the wounding of our souls by the Holy Spirit.  Satan words are filled with condemnation.  He would judge us unfit for heaven because of our deeds and negate the gracious saving work of Christ on the cross we have received through faith.  "You're just like Peter.  How could you do this?  And you call yourself a pastor?"  I am a sinner and I am not a pastor because I'm better than everybody else but because God has chosen and called me.  But there is no need to debate or even converse with the devil.  It did not do Eve any good, and it has no power to free us from guilt and shame.

But Jesus does, friends!  We do well to not forget the sting of our failures that we might be focused on that prize:  Philip. 3:13-14 says, "Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, [14] I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."  No matter what we have done or how we have wronged God by our sin, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins when we repent.  Our God is not one of second chances, but new beginnings!