Broken First!

Many people come to Christ as one decides to go to the doctor.  The only relationship most people have with their doctor is not a personal relationship at all.  When a man feels sick enough, he makes an appointment and goes to the doctor for an exam or prescription of medication.  Once out of the office and feeling better, most will never even think of their doctor again until the next time they are ill.  When people's lives are out of order, they decide to give Christ a try - they attend a service, see a pastor for counsel, or something along those lines.  If things improve, they will likely never think about God until the next time their lives unravel.  On the other hand, if things don't improve quickly they will be hardened towards God and Christianity, now convinced it is all rubbish.

It is a simple thing to realize other people are messed up.  It is also easy to notice when things are not going smoothly in our personal lives.  But because of pride, selfishness, stubbornness, or a host of other reasons, we stop short of seeing ourselves as the failure.  Although we are the only common link to all the issues we are having, it is rare we come to the conclusion that we are entirely to blame.  When a car doesn't run, it is because necessary components are broken.  Until the car is broken, there is no fixing required.  Newer cars can be hooked up to a diagnostic computer that directs the mechanic to the system or part that is broken.  It is an objective, programmed tool to aid in repairing the vehicle.  Our main hindrance is we recognize there is a problem in our lives but we don't want to believe the source could be us.  If only diagnosing the human condition was as easy as pushing a button!

I am convinced that God will not fix a man until he is broken.  Many of the "conversions" that take place these days are similar to the "doctor/patient" relationship already described.  That is the description of a man who realizes things aren't right but wants to make a deal with God so things can be better.  It would be better for the man to realize that not only is his life a mess, but he is a bigger mess himself.  There can be no regeneration without repentance, and no salvation without humility.  The only requirements some churches make to hail new Christians is a hand-raising or repeating praying words after a preacher who says, "Repeat after me."  Brokenness precedes fixing, and sickness goes before healing.  The tax-collector who cried, "God be merciful to me, a sinner!" went home justified while the public prayer of the Pharisee only added to his guilt.

I do not remember the moment I was justified but I remember distinctly the first instant I was broken.  After struggling with a particular sin I finally was broken by the fight and melted with great sobs.  There had been a war raging within and without, and at last down to the deepest depths my soul agreed with God:  He had been right, and I had been wrong.  It was a mixture of profound sorrow mixed because of my guilt, yet mixed with deep joy knowing that I was delivered from my sin.  Waves of grace washed over me in a flood of peace impossible to be described for beauty and comfort.  There was a resolve - not aroused in my fickle flesh - but by the Holy Spirit in my heart to choose Christ and serve Him alone.  God fixed me that day.  He fixed my heart upon Him.  Ongoing maintenance is certainly required, for perfection is not in me.  But in another way perfection IS within me, for the Holy Spirit has taken up residence within my heart.

What sort of relationship do you share with God?  God cannot be Savior if you will not allow Him to be LORD.  A business-only relationship with God is no relationship.  If a relationship between a husband or wife can be termed strictly a "business" relationship, could any say there is love involved?  We love Christ because He first loved us.  Once we receive of His love, His love flows back toward Him and others through us.  Horses will not break themselves:  they must be intentionally broken by skilled riders.  In the same way, no man can break himself.  God is gracious to use circumstances in our lives, sickness, trials, and all manner of difficulty to reveal to us we are sinners desperately in need of a Savior.  An unbroken man is a proud man, a man too good in his own eyes to need fixing.  Humble us so we might be broken!  Break us God, so we might be fixed!