Grief and God's Grace

Grief is a complex process, and though we may never have closure with our loved ones we can experience comfort through closeness with God.  It is faith in the goodness, grace and mercy of God where we discover rest.  Paul blessed the LORD in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4:  "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."  The God of all comfort has chosen to suffer for our sakes out of love for us, and knowing Him we are sustained.

I've been reading Grieving a Suicide by Albert Y. Hsu and have been blessed with his insights, especially around the grieving process and the elusive feelings of closure:

"Suicides usually leave conversations unfinished, with many loose ends.  But ultimate closure is an unrealistic expectation.  We can close on a house, but we can't close on a person's life.  To put the past behind us and lock it up into a little box dishonors the memory of our loved one; it says that we are trying to pretend that this didn't happen.  No, instead we acknowledge what happened, and that it was tragic; we acknowledge that it has changed our lives forever.  We live on as changed people who look at life and death differently now.

Eventually we come to the point of realizing that though we may always grieve, we no longer do so continually or consciously.  In some ways grief will go on forever.  In other ways it does come to some end points.  After his wife's death, C. S. Lewis wrote A Grief Observed in a series of four notebooks.  He decided that he would not buy any new notebooks after the fourth one.  He said, "I thought I could describe a state, make a map of sorrow.  Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.  It needs not a map but a history, and if I don't stop writing that history at some quite arbitrary point, there's no reason why I should ever stop.  There is something new to be chronicled every day..."

Healing doesn't mean that we are ever completely "recovered."  We are never fully "healed."  The human body is never in a state of perfect health; it is constantly in flux, with some cells dying while others are growing.  Every day we experience minuscule injuries and abrasions, and if our bodies are healthy, they are always in the process of healing.  It is better to speak of experiencing healing as an ongoing process than to pretend we have been healed and have arrived at a final destination...We are never completely healed.  After all, we still carry the scars.  But grief that has done its work in us will help us experience God's grace more fully." (Hsu, Albert. Grieving a Suicide: a Loved Ones Search for Comfort, Answers and Hope. Inter-Varsity Press, 2017. pages 157-159.)

To all who have experienced grief and painful loss, may you also experience the comfort and hope found only in Jesus Christ who will never leave or forsake us.  God knows what it is like to lose what is most precious when He gave His only begotten Son for us on Calvary.  God has suffered for us in the person of Jesus Christ so we could receive comfort, and by faith we can cast our cares upon Him because He cares for us today and always.