Forgiving Self?

I had a friend who went to a chiropractor regularly for various adjustments, and for awhile he swore by the benefits he received--albeit temporary.  After time passed, however, he stopped going to his chiropractor due to negative side effects:  his thigh became permanently numb.  When the negative side effects outweighed the benefits of regular treatments at his chiropractor, he began to consider other options.  This illustrated to me how we can undergo treatments based on recommendations of others that do not benefit us in the long run.  I do not use this example as an indictment against alternative therapies or treatments, but to illustrate what offers relief from pain up front can result in numbness.  What was intended to help can lead to lasting harm.

What can be physically true concerning therapies, remedies and medical treatments can be applied to our lives spiritually.  When philosophy, ideology or the wisdom of the world are substituted for the truth of God's word, at best the benefits will be superficial and temporary because they cannot address the spiritual cause.  For instance, in today's sermon at Calvary Chapel Sydney, God asked through the prophet in Jeremiah 44:7-8:  "Now therefore, thus says the LORD, the God of hosts, the God of Israel: 'Why do you commit this great evil against yourselves, to cut off from you man and woman, child and infant, out of Judah, leaving none to remain, ⁸ in that you provoke Me to wrath with the works of your hands, burning incense to other gods in the land of Egypt where you have gone to dwell, that you may cut yourselves off and be a curse and a reproach among all the nations of the earth?"  The problems faced by God's people were self-inflicted by their own sins they refused to repent of, for they provoked God to wrath by their continued unbelief, disobedience and idolatry.  The troubles and trauma experienced by the remnant of Judah were due to evil committed against themselves by sin.

I have heard some suggest--even in the church--the way forward when we have sinned is to forgive ourselves.  This concept is never put forth in God's word.  The priests and scribes spoke truly when they said, "Who can forgive sins but God alone?"  Sin is first and always committed against God, whether it is a sin committed against ourselves or others.  While some people tout it as being beneficial or liberating for them, the effect will be fleeting and numbs our conscience.  A side effect of needing to forgive self to feel forgiven reduces the precious blood of Jesus shed for sinners and God's promises as being less effective and trustworthy than our own feelings!  Who is better at releasing us from bitterness or resentment (which are sins):  you or God?  Can we release ourselves from the guilt of sin?  How can we forgive ourselves when we are the guilty party?  To say we can forgive ourselves suggests part of us is intrinsically good, innocent and righteous like God.

From a biblical perspective, to suggest we must forgive ourselves is absurd.  Imagine if a boy was offended by what a girl said at school, lost his temper and punched her in the face.  The boy was clearly wrong with what he did, and it would be right for him to apologise and ask for forgiveness.  Would it be appropriate for the boy to declare, "I forgave myself for that, so I feel better?"  Where is the humility?  Where is sorrow for sin and repentance of the transgressor before the one wronged?  What arrogance, that forgiveness of self is our self-prescribed prerequisite for restoration of relationship with God and others!  All sin is against God, and only God can forgive and pardon.  I am convinced self-forgiveness is a worldly substitute for biblical repentance.  To say we can forgive ourselves implies we are the ultimate authority, while biblical repentance acknowledges God's authority and righteous ways we have transgressed.  Trying to forgive self is a work of the flesh that cannot result in the fruit of the Spirit being produced in our lives.

Repentance for sin means a change of mind and heart humbly brought into agreement with God by submission to Him, an acknowledgement of our sin without excuse, and a change of life when we determine to cease from sin and choose to do what pleases God instead.  Feeling guilty or sorry is not repentance; being disappointed with ourselves and promising to do better is not repentance either.  Paul explained how godly sorrow for sin can lead to true repentance in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11:  "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death. ¹¹ For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed in a godly manner: what diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication! In all things you proved yourselves to be clear in this matter."  Godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, and see the transformation trusting and obeying God brings by His grace!