Feelings and Self-Control

In his book Renovation of the Heart, Dallas Willard made astute observations of humans concerning our reliance upon feelings to direct and govern our actions:

"Often they cannot distinguish between their feelings and their will, and in their confusion they also quite commonly take feelings to be reasons.  And they will in general lack any significant degree of self-control.  This will turn their lives into a mere drift through the days and years, which addictive behavior promises to allow them to endure.

Self-control is the steady capacity to direct yourself to accomplish what you have chosen or decided to do and be, even though you "don't feel like it."  Self-control means that you, with steady hand, do what you don't want to do (or what you want not to) when that is needed and do not do what you want to do (what you "feel like" doing) when that is needed.  In people without rock-solid character, feeling is a deadly enemy of self-control and will always subvert it.  The mongoose of a disciplined will under God and good is the only match for the cobra of feeling." (Willard, Dallas. Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ. Form, 2021. page 130)

During His lifetime and in the days as His crucifixion approached, Jesus remains the perfect example of self-control, yielded entirely in submission to the will of His Father in heaven.  No human being ever voluntarily looked forward to being cruelly tortured and crucified, but Jesus for the joy set before Him embraced and endured the cross.  In Gethsemane Jesus prayed in Luke 22:42 "...saying, "Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done."  If Jesus had been led by His feelings, He would have run from the cross.  He did not "feel" like being crucified on that particular day.  By knowledge of God, His rock-solid character and total obedience, Jesus was able to overcome the draw of doing what He felt like doing--avoiding crucifixion.

Consider the impact of Jesus not confusing feelings to be reasons to do what He wanted:  in becoming a sacrifice for sin Jesus provided eternal life to all who trust in Him, having provided through crucifixion necessary atonement.  In was in laying down His life in obedience to the Father we have pardon and eternal life.  For those born again by faith in Jesus, we are given the Holy Spirit who provides knowledge of God's will and produces spiritual fruit--which includes self-control.  It is the power of our risen Saviour Who provides the strength and ability to remain in submission to God rather than being mired as a slave to feelings that prompt us to go our own foolish, disobedient way.

Preparation for Eternity

Since moving to Australia, my daily life has changed in many ways.  My family and I have adapted well to living in New South Wales despite not being born and raised here.  There is one thing, however, I am particularly hopeless at:  remembering to carry an umbrella in the car when rain is in the forecast.  Growing up in southern California, I never needed to plan for rain.  As an adult I have never owned an umbrella!  Perhaps this is one reasonable explanation why I do not think to bring a household umbrella with me, and when I do I am apt to leave it behind and lose it.  Living in Australia I still do not plan for rain--and thus am usually unprepared when the rain falls.

Jesus called out the hypocrisy of people who were observant of the weather and took appropriate action yet were negligent of present spiritual preparation for the future.  They were like people who never were caught in a downpour without an umbrella, waterproof jacket and shoes.  Though they could predict weather patterns with the accuracy of Doppler radar and plan accordingly, they did not recognise the signs of the times.  The scriptures had spoken clearly concerning the signs of the promised Messiah and Jesus fulfilled prophecies like being conceived by a virgin, being born in Bethlehem of the tribe of Judah, called out of Egypt and raised in Nazareth.  Wise men came from the east seeking to worship the King of the Jews because His star was seen in the heavens, and the Jews affirmed Bethlehem was the place confirmed in scripture--and ironically did not care to go themselves.  People who thought to bring a covering on a cold day were hypocrites to ignore their need of spiritual preparation when they would someday be judged by the righteous Messiah Who personally addressed them.

Jesus said in Luke 12:57-59, "Yes, and why, even of yourselves, do you not judge what is right? ⁵⁸ When you go with your adversary to the magistrate, make every effort along the way to settle with him, lest he drag you to the judge, the judge deliver you to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison. ⁵⁹ I tell you, you shall not depart from there till you have paid the very last mite."  If a person knows they are guilty of offending an adversary, it makes sense to do everything possible to settle out of court before a date is set.  On the way to the magistrate it would be wise to plead for mercy and make things right rather than having to appear before a judge in court who has power and authority to impose serious punishment.  An adversary will show no mercy, and a righteous judge will throw the book at someone so careless.  If we care about temporal things like fines, felonies and jail time we want to avoid, it follows we ought to be more careful about being in good standing with God because this has eternal consequences.

A point Jesus previously made in this chapter is a wise servant will be faithful even when his master has been away for a long time, because he knows his master will return and require a reckoning.  Knowing the master could return at any time prompts the servant to be responsible and be on the lookout for him.  In the same way, servants of Jesus Christ ought to be ready in these last days for His return.  Having been born again by faith in Jesus, our hearts, minds and lives are to be exercised in godliness.  1 John 3:2-3 says, "Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. ³ And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure."  Knowing God is pure and has washed us in the blood of the New Covenant, we are purified and sanctify ourselves in preparation for the revelation of Jesus Christ.  Because Jesus has forgiven us, we forgive others; since He has been gracious and merciful to us, we freely extend these to others as well.  Since heaven is our eternal home in the presence of the righteous God and Judge, we are to do righteously today.

Divine Order

"You give your mouth to evil, and your tongue frames deceit. ²⁰ You sit and speak against your brother; you slander your own mother's son. ²¹ These things you have done, and I kept silent; you thought that I was altogether like you; but I will rebuke you, and set them in order before your eyes."

Psalm 50:19-21

God was faithful to address the sin of His people of sinning with their lips.  One aspect of their sin was their presumptuous belief God was altogether like them.  Their words spoken against their brethren were marked with deceit and slander, and God remained silent, observant and composed.  They sat in judgment and spoke with the authority of man, but God would rebuke them with unmatched power, wisdom and majesty.  The tendency for man to liken God to himself is an error repeated throughout scripture, and it was evident as people interacted with Jesus Christ--God in the flesh.  True to His word, Jesus gently rebuked those who were anxious or worried when their expectations of Him were unmet.

The first time Jesus went up to Jerusalem to observe the Passover with Joseph and Mary, He lingered behind.  Joseph and Mary assumed Jesus accompanied people in their group as they trekked home to Nazareth and were worried when they could not find Him.  They hastily returned to Jerusalem and found Him in the Temple discussing matters of the Law of Moses, listening and asking questions.  Luke 2:48-50 says, "So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, "Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously." ⁴⁹  And He said to them, "Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father's business?" ⁵⁰ But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them."  Mary blamed Jesus for her and Joseph's anxiety.  Jesus showed He was in the right place and their assumptions were in the wrong.  Jesus understood the most complex matters of Law, yet Joseph and Mary did not understand His simple question.

While crossing the Sea of Galilee with His disciples, a fierce storm whipped up and the ship was in danger of sinking.  The disciples, many of them seasoned sailors, feared for their lives.  Mark 4:38-41 reads, "But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?" ³⁹ Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. ⁴⁰ But He said to them, "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?" ⁴¹ And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, "Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!"  Because Jesus slept during the storm they viewed His actions as careless, perhaps even clueless.  Jesus amazed the disciples by speaking to the storm (that instantly obeyed Him) and bringing a great calm.  Jesus rebuked His disciples for their fear and questioned their total lack of faith.

Finally, there was a domestic conflict when Jesus went to the home of Lazarus, Martha and Mary in Bethany.  Mary sat at Jesus feet as He spoke the word of God, but Martha was distracted by feelings of being ignored and abandoned by her sister when there was much to do--and blamed Jesus for her troubles.  Luke 10:40-42 states, "But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me." ⁴¹ And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. ⁴² But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."  Instead of pulling Mary aside and dealing with her offence, Martha confronted Jesus as if He did not care for her feelings.  Martha demanded Jesus tell Mary to do what she wanted Mary to do, but Jesus did no such thing.  He rebuked Martha for her anxiety and worries, and He commended Mary and others who do well to listen to Him.

These three occasions show when we give place to anxiety and worry, in one sense we have relinquished the authority and power of Jesus in our lives to our own fleshly thoughts and desires.  It shows at least for a moment we have forgotten Who Jesus is, His wisdom to always be doing His Father's will, His ability to bring peace to our situation and to do all that is necessary to provide for our physical and spiritual well-being.  It is shocking how often we have viewed God through our own human frailty, limitations and folly.  As a result we have looked for hope in all the wrong places, been overwhelmed with fear and anxiety, and felt like God does not even care about us.  We have thought God was altogether like us, but thank the LORD He is gentle and gracious to rebuke us so we might be instructed and learn to cast our cares upon Him.  Because God resists the proud and self-assured and gives grace to the humble, 1 Peter 5:6-7 exhorts us: "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, ⁷ casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you."

God is not like us, and this realisation prompts us to humble ourselves to be more like Him.  A judge says, "Order in the court!" and God is the One who brings order to our hearts, minds and lives by His divine presence and power.

Divine Wardrobe Change

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, ¹² to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever."

Psalm 30:11-12

David cried out to the LORD who heard, healed and helped him.  What happened in the past could not be undone, yet God turned his mourning into dancing.  By God's grace David's sorrow was turned by God into celebration and gladness.  It is important to recognise God's role in David's shift of perspective and feelings, for God brought his season of mourning and wearing sackcloth to an end.

When it comes to grief and sorrow, it is a deeply personal experience.  There may be social norms concerning periods of mourning and appropriate clothing to wear, yet it is ultimately the choice of the individual.  Feelings of grief can extend beyond a funeral or memorial service, and what person has the right to tell the mourner to cease?  This passage shows us God was the one for David, and it is fitting because all comfort and consolation is found in Him.

We aren't told why David donned sackcloth in the first place, but God took it off to clothe him with gladness.  Sometimes when my wife and I are going to a special occasion, we will coordinate our clothing to compliment one another.  Speaking of the Son of God Jesus Christ Hebrews 1:9 says, "You have loved righteousness and hated lawlessness; therefore God, Your God, has anointed You with the oil of gladness more than Your companions."  Should God's people mourn perpetually when Jesus is anointed with the oil of gladness?  Even when our sorrow is justifiably great, the joy of the LORD remains a constant and in time He changes our wardrobe to match His.  God put off David's sackcloth and clothed David with gladness, and thus he was filled with praise and thanksgiving to God.

God turned David's mourning into dancing and put off his sackcloth to clothe him with gladness--to the end he would praise God with enthusiasm.  If God put off David's sackcloth, should he put it on again?  There are no shortage of things in this world that work to depress and overwhelm us, but looking to Jesus Christ has the ability to change us and our perspective.  It is in seeing the LORD that we are caught up in His goodness, mercy and grace that frees us from perpetual grief and mourning.  Our gladness springs from God's greatness, and He is always worthy of our praise and thanks.