Love God, Love Others

While watching the Australian Open on television yesterday, several times an ad to promote the new season of "The Biggest Loser" (Australia edition) was shown.  A woman spoke of how she needed to love herself and be self-confident before she could be a contributor to a loving relationship.  After the woman tipped the scales at over 150 kilos, shame was evident on her face when she saw her weight revealed in large digital numbers for all to see.  "Sorry Mum," she said sadly, embarrassed for her mum as much as herself.

I have started working through the Biblical Counseling Foundation's Self-Confrontation manual of late.  Part of the role of the manual is to lay the foundation for a biblical world view through scripture.  One of the rhetorical questions asked in the preface is, "Don't I have to learn to love myself before I can love others?"  The conclusion is terse and shocking for those who would answer in the affirmative:  "Questions like these reflect the fact that many people are following false teaching that has been present since the beginning of time but is gaining unprecedented popularity in the church today.  It is the "doctrine" of self-exaltation and self-gratification.  This preoccupation with self is based on a misunderstanding of one's relationship with God, is unbiblical, and deters spiritual growth." (1991 edition, pg. 11)

The problem which the Bible exposes in all people is not our lack of love for ourselves, but our lack of love for God.  Ephesians 5:29 says, "For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church."  Some of us nourish and cherish our bodies too much.  We can all fall into the trap of making a god of our belly, eating and drinking to excess.  Whether or not weight is something you struggle with, everyone struggles with something.  Maybe we have even moved past the point of struggle, having given up all hope of change, and choose instead to embrace and make part of our identity the very thing which holds us captive.  I remember a conversation with a man who had embraced his alcoholism:  "Yeah, I like to drink beer!  I think of myself as a happy Friar Tuck."  This man embraced his love for beer, the very thing which was ruling his life.  He was confident in himself because in his mind, being a happy, heavyset, beer-loving man like the fictitious Friar Tuck wasn't a bad thing at all.  He earned his belly and esteemed himself very highly - despite his physique and drinking habits.

If a man places confidence in himself, he places his confidence in what will certainly fail.  Beauty, fitness, health, physical ability, careers, family, quick wit, strength, and skills will all pass away.  Speaking for myself (and I'm sure you can relate!), our bodies and abilities which we could once count on are beginning to deteriorate.  There are things I used to be able to do I no longer can do because of the erosion of my skills or certain injury.  I don't ride skateboards or play tackle football any more.  I no longer jump out of trees, run a 5 minute mile, or drink 2 liters of soft drink a day.  Proverbs 31:30 states, "Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised."  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

The world tells us that we need to love ourselves and pursue happiness through gratifying the flesh.  The Bible teaches us our greatest need is to love the God who already loves us, no matter how we look or feel.  Instead of looking at ourselves as being naturally good, we are wise to take the scriptural view:  Romans 7:18 says, "For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find."  When we turn our eyes upon the righteous perfection of God, we see in His light that we are completely bankrupt of all goodness.  Then we can begin to appreciate the love, grace, and mercy of Jesus Christ towards us, that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us.  This does not mean we hate ourselves.  Because of the value and love that Christ has graciously bestowed on us, we can place our confidence in God alone.  We can say with Paul, "By the grace of God I am what I am."

Being happy does not mean I must turn a blind eye to my many faults.  True joy comes from the fact that God knows my faults and still loves me.  Christians no longer need to ride the roller coaster of self-esteem which changes on the conditions in our lives or the numbers on the bathroom scale.  We can rest upon the rock solid truth of God's love, acceptance, and forgiveness.  My confidence is fixed upon the unshakable truth and unalterable character of God.  It is from receiving the love of God, not my own fickle love, which empowers me to love others.  Jesus says in John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."  Jesus has loved us with an everlasting love and accepted us, so we not need fear rejection.  Receive God's love today.  Only then can we love one another as Christ has loved us.