Train up YOUR Children

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."

 Proverbs 22:6

Those God has blessed with children have the important responsibility to train our children to serve, honour, and worship God.  We cannot relegate the meaning of training to only include what pertains to this temporal life, like household chores, manners, social behaviour, or instilling a good work ethic.  Deuteronomy 6:6-8 explains that teaching children of God through His Word and modeling worship of God is the primary role of parents, contrary to what many believe today:  "And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes."  God delivered His Word so we might know Him in truth.  If would not matter if my children later in life embraced successful careers as doctors, soldiers, salesmen, lawyers, scientists, or travel agents:  if I have neglected the training and nurture of my children in Jesus Christ, then I have failed in the primary purpose of my calling as a parent.

A grave error among many parents in the church today is the reliance upon pastors, youth pastors, and Sunday School teachers to provide the bulk of their children's training.  I talked with someone recently who lamented the lack of a strong youth group at their current church.  "I had my son meet with a youth pastor to talk about some things.  I mean, he's not going to listen to me."  This is sadly not the first time I have run into this persuasion.  Don't get me wrong - pastors and teachers can have a huge impact on a child's life.  But God designed the family to be the place where kids receive godly instruction and a biblical worldview.  The life of a disciple of Christ must be established, modeled, and taught at home.  If it is not done there, one hour with a church "professional" will likely only soothe the conscience of parents who feel inadequate to train their kids.

Churches have been traditionally good at teaching facts and information.  From a young age, children grow in knowledge.  What does the scripture say?  The second part of 1 Corinthians 8:1 says, "...Knowledge puffs up, but love edifies."  Because of this, many of the kids who are brought up in churches tend towards being legalistic Pharisees without a relationship with Jesus Christ.  They become dull to the Gospel through much hearing.  The church is intended to reinforce what is already being taught at home.  If the love, grace, and doctrines of scripture are not being modeled at home, Christianity becomes compartmentalised in a building where people attend services once or twice a week.  This is a prime reason young people "fall away" when they enroll in university or enter the work force.  It's likely they didn't actually "fall away" but were never close to God - they simply stopped going through the motions of coming to a building.  Because the foundation of a relationship with God was not modeled in real life by people closest to them, kids are convinced Christianity must be a show:  it is a pastime for adults who go to church and drag along their kids because they think church is good for them, like eating spinach.  When the kids grow up and buy their own groceries, they don't buy spinach unless they realize the health benefits and have grown to enjoy the taste.  And when they wake up on a Sunday morning, they roll over and choose to sleep in.

I have been convicted lately that when I was a youth pastor, I spent much more time preparing for study, training, and teaching other people's children than my own.  God has gifted me to teach, and therefore it was good for me to pursue and cultivate this gift.  But as much time as I spent praying for, studying with, and teaching other kids, I should have set aside at least that much time for my own.  After all, I am primarily responsible before God for teaching my wife and two sons.  My family should have been my priority to train in the admonition of the LORD.  Many pastors fall prey to overwork and the neglect of family, and that is why some "PK's" (preacher's kids) have the reputation of being wayward.  Their dad can be so busy teaching and counseling others that he has neglected to train his children as he ought.  Praise God that it is not too late!  I have resolved to make the training of my family in the pursuit and worship of God a greater priority than ever before.

How about you?  As a parent, have you embraced the responsibility of training your children in their spiritual walk with Jesus Christ?  Even if your children are grown, it's not too late to model a life set apart for the glory of God.  Ephesians 5:14-17 reads, "Therefore He says: "Awake, you who sleep, Arise from the dead, And Christ will give you light." ¹⁵ See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, ¹⁶ redeeming the time, because the days are evil. ¹⁷ Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is."  It is God's will that children be trained in the admonition of the LORD by their parents.  The LORD will be your strength!