"They will find their place in the "outer darkness" of what Jesus spoke (Matthew 8:12). but the fundamental fact about them will not be that they are there, but that they have become people so locked into their own self-worship and denial of God that they cannot want God...The ultimately lost person is the person who cannot want God. Who cannot want God to be God. Multitudes of such people pass by every day, and pass into eternity. The reason they do not find God is that they do not want him or, at least, do not want him to be God. Wanting God to be God is very different from wanting God to help me..."
We should be very sure that the ruined soul is not one who has missed a few more or less important theological points and will flunk a theological examination at the end of life. Hell is not an "Oops!" or a slip. One does not miss heaven by a hair, but by constant effort to avoid and escape God. "Outer darkness" is for one who, everything said, wants it, whose entire orientation has slowly and firmly set itself against God and therefore against how the universe actually is. It is for those who are disastrously in error about their own lives and their place before God and humanity." (Willard, Dallas. Renovation of the Heart: Putting on the Character of Christ. Form, 2021. Pages 55-56)
As we seek to lead others to saving faith in Jesus, we cannot overlook the power of the Holy Spirit to soften hearts, open eyes and the willingness of people to submit to Him. Paul dealt with this issue of hardened hearts when he spent an entire day sharing scriptures concerning the kingdom of God and provided evidence Jesus Christ is the promised Messiah to Jews who willingly gathered for that purpose. Some were convinced but others would not believe: it was a matter of the will. The NIV rendering of Paul's response is very insightful concerning their responsibility to choose to listen and receive the truth in Acts 28:25-27: "They disagreed among themselves and began to leave after Paul had made this final statement: "The Holy Spirit spoke the truth to your forefathers when he said through Isaiah the prophet: 26 "'Go to this people and say, "You will be ever hearing but never understanding; you will be ever seeing but never perceiving." 27 For this people's heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them.'"
Without faith in God as revealed in scripture, facts are regarded by the unbelieving as foolishness. We, like Jesus and Paul, are called to speak the truth as led by the Holy Spirit. Jesus came as the Light of the World into a world of darkness to seek and save the lost, and He has given His own life's blood so people might be redeemed. Faith in Jesus is the only way to heaven and eternal life, and God does not prevent anyone from entering in His Way. Only God can raise the spiritually dead to life eternal and bring those who are willing to submit to Him in faith out of darkness and into His marvelous light. From Adam and Eve onward humanity is chronically bent into blaming God rather than accepting we are in the wrong and He is always right. It isn't that God has obscured the truth, but people are unwilling and thus unable to receive it.
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